TEST DRIVE MEME #4

[sailmods]

1. you will survive being bested

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome! We're... I'm very glad to have you aboard!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. think about how many times I have fallen

[for the most part, no one has given the elevators much thought. they've all done their job reliably and dutifully this entire time, never so much as being blocked off for maintenance.

until today, when the doors close behind you as you enter, and don't open again.

for the most part, that's all that happens. the doors can't be pried open, or broken with force or magic, and though the glass walls remain stubbornly shatterproof, you can look through them and try to get the attention of anyone outside. (Friday, down in the atrium, sees your desperately pounding fists and gives a wave, but does nothing else.) the elevators don't move... except, when they do. going up two or three stories, and then dropping, sometimes as many as five stories at a time, stopping just as suddenly.]

3. it was the easiest thing to do

["physically assaulting people is an easy way to get attention" was probably a very bad lesson for the neglected locations to have learned, but it they did it anyway.

this time, it's the sushi restaurant on the promenade, Mikabo. it turns out, the conveyor belt can go faster than one would assume. much faster, actually, with the apparently ability to stop on a dime. both of these factors have combined to create what is functionally a pitching machine, but for dragon rolls, wads of wasabi paste, and exceedingly sharp steak knives, all of which are being aimed at anyone foolish enough to walk by the doors of the restaurant without coming in.

its aim, at the very least, doesn't seem to be the best. for now. because it very much seems like it's getting better.]

Comments

[ninetoes]

Well, she's got a face so that's a green flag. The counter attack is easy to see coming and he does dodge, stepping back quickly in halls far wider than he's used to. It was a good forward, he has to admit. Perhaps they're someone as captured as he is, also looking for the way out.

It would be terrible if he ran into another ghost so quickly.

But he can tell from her accent that she's French. And that's almost as bad.

"Edward Teach," he answers instead, completely ignoring the challenge.

"About yay high-" a gesture. Six foot or so. "-long salt'n pepper hair. Goes by Blackbeard. Do you know him?"

[saltwaterlungs]

"You mean Captain Blackbeard," she corrects. Another member of the crew? Probably had to be, to be asking after Blackbeard by name.

"And if I did?" Darcy asks, solely to be a dick. She hasn't withdrawn her blade yet, but neither has he. "Who's asking?"

[ninetoes]

Captain Blackbeard. Another green flag. Interesting.

Izzy gives her a look like he is very tired and does not have the life force for this bullshit, but this has also been his natural state of the last several years. Her response is good, though, and means two things. 1, Ed is on board and 2, made himself known enough that he can be found.

Not in the mood for games, he cuts straight to the answer. Sword still drawn. Knowing Ed can mean anything and he isn't adverse to a good fight right about now. It would ruin his stealth mission but fuck around and find out.

"His first mate, Izzy Hands."

[saltwaterlungs]

"Oh- oh that dude that Captain Bonnet beat in a sword fight," Darcy grins, already smug about what his appearance means. Namely, that she might have someone decent to train against, someone Blackbeard respects that she can prove herself against. Any other implications are totally going over her head, she's been itching for a fight for at least a month now.

"I might have heard of you. I expected you'd be taller."

[ninetoes]

"On a technicality!" he hisses back before he can think to stop and assess. It's too easy to get under his skin if Stede is involved.

The realization of what he's just opened up slams into him a moment later, but it is a moment too late. Now all he can do is pivot and make growling demands.

"Tell me where Blackbeard is."

[saltwaterlungs]

"You know, I knew pirates were bad at taking baths, but I didn't think their manners were this bad too," she mocks, tucking that information away for later, "Captain Bonnet really is better than most of you in so many ways."

"But I'll think about it, if you ask nicely," Darcy adds, not even hiding her smugness.

[ninetoes]

"Listen to me very closely, frog" he growls, lowering his sword only to advance a few steps, but still very much at the ready.

She's Team Stede, which means either Edward has been talking shit or Stede is on board. Neither is ideal.

"I will find him, and either you can help me now or not. But I'll remember. And you will rue this day."

[saltwaterlungs]

"Listen to me you fucking English cunt," she spits back, heat already rising to her face, her pallor flushing well and truly back to life again, "you're shit under my shoe and I will scrape you off."

Oh yeah, that one was worth all the work-shopping in the bathroom mirror.

"Go eat some terrible food and cry about the Queen or something. Either bring something other than cheap threats or fuck off."

[ninetoes]

Wow, he knew it was easy but that was really easy.

"The queen has been dead for a hundred years," he answers and completely ignores her threats. All that hard work for nothing, Darcy. Try harder girl.

"And I don't serve any king with his face on a coin."

Though Edward does have a rather fetching profile.

Back to square one.

"You're a waste of my time," he decides aloud and steps to the right to go around her.

"You don't know anything about Blackbeard."

[saltwaterlungs]

It was embarrassingly easy, and Darcy cursed her own temper when Izzy failed to react to her barbs. A new approach, then, she swishes her blade to the side to stop him. Darcy briefly considers something threatening about how the French ended up treating their kings, but it'd lack any real cut for a man from prior to it happening. New plan.

"I know Blackbeard told me, personally, that you were the finest swordsman he knew. And I know where to find him. Duel me for it. Unless you're scared of being beaten by a girl, old man."

[ninetoes]

If anything at all this is a chance to practice improvisation in the real world on the precipice of a fight. A negotiation, and several layers to the conversation all happening in the hopes for bending the other's will.

Izzy Hands is not about to engage with that. Not right now. Not while he's on mission. The girl's request is fair and if he had more time he would gladly accept, not one to back down to a challenge, but there are more important things afoot.

She has the information he wants, yes, maybe, but there's no guarantee and the noise could draw attention of other captives or worse, the crew.

No, he can't fight right now. Not for pleasure.

"These halls are so big they echo," he says, gesturing lightly.

"If we were to fight it would make such a ruckus that ghost crew above would come running. Puts a bit of a spanner in my plan, don't you think."

[saltwaterlungs]

There's a number of reasons why she wants to fight this dude currently. To test her mettle, for Stede's sake, for the old adage of 'pick a fight with the biggest guy in the yard to show you're hot shit'. But he seems to take her request seriously, not scoffing at her age or gender, and that earns him just the slightest bit of respect in her books.

"Ghost crew?" she asks, then wrinkles her face up, "if you mean the ghosts, then you're fine. They only exist to serve drinks and meals, I don't think they can even leave their stations. Anyone you actually meet is a passenger, and we're not dead. Mostly. We can find somewhere quieter, if it'd make you feel better."

[ninetoes]

It wouldn't. He'll circle back to the why in a moment. But it starts with B and ends in beard.

"So what of the woman without any face? I'm assuming an agent of this vessel's captain. Was she not a ghost?"

The lifeboat drill. The lei around his neck. Oh baby he new new.

[saltwaterlungs]

"God, no, ghosts usually have faces," Darcy answers before she can consider using it as leverage. She figured he was at least regular new, having not run into him before, but he was properly fresh. Ugh, if only she hadn't been taking it upon herself to be a good little psychopomp and deal with the new arrivals. She notes to herself to write in an exception if the new arrivals sucked.

"More like... a puppet. Do you believe in magic, Izzy? Because the Captain, big capital C and not Bonnet or Blackbeard, runs this ship on magic, Friday and the ghosts included. And if you don't, you'd best get used to it very quickly."

[ninetoes]

He doesn't believe in magic, not really. He believes in clever men and illusion. That's all he's known in life and if this is Hell then it is a continuation of what he will know in death.

Alas, she has a point. He'll have to get used to it very fast. In one way that is very difficult, thrust as he is into an entire world framed in the unfamiliar.

But by that same thread is it not that little bit easier to accept. Nothing here is like home. Which means it all has to be accepted or he will simply cease to function. Colour him extremely sus.

"The captain. What do you know about him?"

[saltwaterlungs]

This time, Darcy's got the foresight to recognize the position she's in.

"More than most. I fought him, once. But I'm not spilling everything for nothing."

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[ninetoes]

She's got him.

Izzy rolls his eyes and looks like he might have a tantrum before letting go of this incredibly frustrating moment.

Refocus, man. Get a fucking hold of yourself.

Maybe it's the adrenaline or desperate need to find Ed that has him considering it. Maybe he'd just really like to stab this girl now.

"We're both got something the other wants. How about this."

A compromise. How cooperative of him.

"Tell me where Blackbeard is and I'll duel you after. Then we're going to sit down and you're going to tell me everything you know about the captain of this vessel and his crew."

[saltwaterlungs]

It's a yes, even if it's not a right now, and Darcy's willing to count it as a victory. She gives him a nod, "I saw him up by the pool last. You'll want take the elevator up to deck six. I'll hold you to this, ehn? There's no way off this ship, so I'll find you again eventually."

With that, she withdraws the blade, letting him pass by her again. But she doesn't sheathe it entirely. He probably doesn't know people can't die yet, and she doesn't want to risk getting stabbed now he knows what he wanted to know.

[ninetoes]

And so they both get what they want. Whoever said Izzy was entirely inflexible is a liar.

Then again, he would do anything if it means getting to Edward. And that is precisely what this is. So they'll pass, facing the entire way, backing up to a safe distance before it feels safe enough to turn around.

Which is quite a distance and not without looking over his shoulder a time or two for good measure. Can't trust the French.