sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #1

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TEST DRIVE MEME #1

1. now it's fun to wake up in a strange chateau

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! We're so glad to have you!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.]

2. messing with my mind was fun at the time

[freshly lei'd, your legs are forced to lead out onto the deck and towards your muster station. the same woman is there, carrying a clipboard. this time, she introduces herself as Gal Friday, the cruise director, before immediately going into the muster drill spiel. it is very boring, and you are not allowed to move, except when you are required to show you know how to put your life vest on. you could try to not do this, but Friday will move to stand in front of you very closely and just. look in your direction until such a time that you decide to do it. and I'm sure your fellow passengers want you to just get on with it, too.

but, once it ends? she reiterates her desire to welcome you aboard. and, then, you're free.

well, free to move about the ship at your own leisure, of course. which is a kind of free, and probably the best one you can hope for. you could try to escape, maybe, if you have the means to; Friday certainly won't be one to stop you. that's what the barrier is for, after all.

but, wouldn't you much rather have fun?

the buffet is full. the pool is open. the casino jingles and chimes.

welcome aboard.]

3. lots of mystery in the history of the devils I knew

[you were never alone.

a few days have passed since you first arrived on the Serena Eterna. perhaps you've made yourself a little routine, and settled in a bit. or maybe you haven't done that at all. either way, you're here, and it looks like somebody is pretty pissed off about it.

it starts small. sometimes nearby plates skid off tables, or a pool chair upends while you're walking next to it. and sometimes that chair is aimed right at your head. objects are moving with quickly increasing frequency, and a wide variety of styles: some are dropped, or pushed, and others and others are tossed, but a few of the items are thrown, with great force and odd accuracy. if Friday is around during the lighter moments, she simply titters and cleans up whatever mess is made. if a pot of soup sails off the buffet line and nearly drenches you in boiling minestrone, she simply walks away.

and then there's the voices. hundreds, maybe thousands, calling out. not all are intelligible English, but you seem to understand them anyway. some sound scared, or angry. some are screams, others whispers. some sound entirely strange, while others are achingly familiar. and they're all saying the same exact thing:

Get Out.]

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Mraaaaaaaaaaah, you don't know what a life vest is, gramps!? That's bad, like not wearing your seatbelt in the car, meow!

[ Gin might not like being on a boat, but he doesn't want anyone to drown. Maybe they had this weird orientation for a reason. Poor gramps...maybe he's never been on a boat either. ]

Mom says I have to always wear my seatbelt, even if I don't like it, woof. But...I guess we all got kidnapped then, meow? That's weird, I already got kidnapped once, so why do it again?

[Ebalon has seen a lot of shit in his time but there's nothing quite like watching a woman turn into a bat and fuck right off.

That's convenient, actually. He has to admit that she's got him beat in the "escape" department, given that he can't exactly fly (and also that his I-don't-give-a-shit attitude has him content to stay here until a reasonable way out presents itself).

When she comes back, he's still lingering around despite the late hour, idly weaving white-coloured streaks of magic between his fingertips as if bored. He doesn't glance up when she lands on the railing, but rather offers a soft smile and a,]

Is something the matter, little bat?

["Little", he says.]

[ ur worst fucking nyaightmare, Ebalon.

Gin kind of wishes he did throw this spoon, with the way Ebalon glares at him but he didn't. It's ghost, obviously, which any worthless adult should clearly be able to figure out. It's not Gin's fault if you aren't as smart as him!]

You aren't that much older then me, meow. But I didn't do it! I only play funny pranks, woof.

[ The French indeed. Elise patiently waits for him to finish talking – far too many words to get his point across for her liking, but there's nothing she can do about that. Terribly English of him. Interesting, though, that he'd been on a ship before he woke up on this one, though it can't mean much, since Elise hadn't been. Still, it's worth filing away. ]

Why would it be rude?

There’s a quiet moment and Garner’s expression shifts from curiosity to something far more perplexed.

“Sorry…” he starts slowly and absently pushes some of his hair behind an ear that had been bothering him. “None of those names sound familiar.” But his thoughts are quick and where he lands is a concept he hasn’t considered yet.

“Are you familiar with the name Exandria?”

I can't choose, woof! But I don't have to, meow. Lately, my favorite animal has been gators.

[ Maybe when he gets home, he'll add something gator related to his costume...a gators tail would be cool to have on his cape! But only if it wasn't too much work for mom...Gin wouldn't be ungrateful. ]

Bears are a good choice though, meow. I saw a grizzly bear at the zoo once, and it had huuuuuuge claws! So cool, woof!

"No, I'm afraid not."

He pauses for another sip of his drink, before it all melts, taking the opportunity to think.

"I knew there were people from different times on Earth. I knew some of them didn't have the same sense of history I did--one said the Platinum Wars were never a thing. But you, you might be from another world entirely. And that's even scarier to consider."

[That is absolutely true that Ebalon isn't much older — appearance-wise he looks somewhere between eighteen and twenty-one, nebulously in the realm of "just became an adult and now the authority's gone to his head". The way he talks, too, carries some sort of superiority in it, which is probably obvious to someone perceptive.]

I see.

[He sets the spoon down, looking Gin up and down... "Where are your parents" is what he wants to ask, but he refrains from doing so only because he gains a modicum of self-control at the last minute.]

I apologise, then, for the accusation. Ah — on your left.

[It's the calmest "hey you're about to be hit by a flying plate" known to man. Ebalon does nothing but that, continuing to pick at his food as he observes the results.]

She notes the asymmetry, and doesn't dismiss it - mistaking lack of apparent training for lack of threat is a decidedly rookie move - but appends a note to her mental file. It's always good to know where the weapons likely are well before things turn violent. (Her own pistol is holstered at her hip. Her current attire comes with precious few hiding places, and only a fool would leave a gun laying in her cabin where anyone could come across it while snooping.)

And things will turn violent, she's almost certain of it. Not now, necessarily, but a herd of strangers, all confined in a relatively small space, unsure of how they arrived or why they've been contained?

Someone is going to do something stupid eventually.

"You mean you didn't wish for a vacation where a strange, horned statue could hear it?" she asks. "Damn. There goes that theory. What is the last thing you remember before waking up, if you don't mind me asking?"

[ Oh great, because a random kid to babysit is exactly what he needs right now. Ragna looks down at Gin, letting out a huff, ready to tell him to piss off, but oddly enough, he manages to keep his temper at bay this time; perhaps it's the cat-ears on his hoodie and all the meowing reminding him of his temporary companion that make him... well, not nostalgic or anything silly like that, but slightly more willing to hear him out. ]

You and me both, kid. I sure as hell don't remember getting on this damn boat, no matter what that bitch says.

[ The concept of not swearing around children is completely lost on him. ]

Guess I'll just have to find the way out on my own.

[ As is the idea of cooperation. ]

I met a talking bear once.

[ Off in the distance, Zouichi could hear the cries of birds. Seagulls, probably, from the shrieking quality of their voices. They sounded sharper than they had in recordings. ]

But I haven't seen him in a while. Definitely not since I showed up here.

Why gators in particular?

"Going to bed, strangely enough. It had been a pretty eventful night, though. A costumed thug invading my building. The return of a man we'd thought was dead."

He might have wished for a vacation, sometime around when he'd had to shoot the frankensteined Lord Hawthorne, but that was well beside the point.

[ It had to be better than listening to more voices, which hadn't said more than two words since he'd gotten here. Maybe they were incapable of anything besides 'get out'. But that was a worry for later. Currently, there was a rather large folding table shivering from its legs to its top as it raised up into the air.

Like someone was mustering their strength for a particularly violent throw. ]

Then let's hit the door. On three, ready?

Ready.

[And on Zouichi's cue, Johnny...well, he scampers, really. He's no athlete, but he's no weak sister either, and he manages a burst of frenetic energy that allows him to grab onto a leg of that threatening table and swing himself toward and then out the door.]

It isn't that she never does anything rash. For all her training and self-control, Natasha Romanoff is still a human being, and the one thing that unites all human beings is their capacity to occasionally make spectacularly stupid mistakes.

But having a gun pointed at her? That's not new ground. That's Tuesday, differing only in that she hadn't arranged or expected it.

She has a split second to decide how to react, to recognize that the gun's pointed, but she's not bleeding, and given what she knows his reaction time is like, that means that whatever this is, it's not like D.C. or Berlin. He may be willing to do her violence, but the outcome hasn't been decided yet.

So: room to de-escalate.

She sets down the shirt she'd been inspecting, and raises her hands, palms turned outward to show they're empty. It doesn't make her harmless, not with her Widow's Bite at her wrists, not with her training. It's still a declaration of intent.

"It's the hair, isn't it?" she says, conversational. "I didn't think it was that bad."

The hair. The hair is different. Did she decide to dye it right after the fight...?

She looks a little older. Thinner. What the hell.

The gun comes down and he stares at her, not with eye contact, but definitely at her face, brows coming together like he's trying to work something out. "What happened to you," he finally asks, voice hoarse and low.

[ Gramps is pretty spot on, kids are so intelligent these days. He has been on a boat, but ... nothing so modern or safety-protocoled. Zhongli cants his head inquisitively at the mention of "seatbelt" and "car." Although he doesn't ask, his expression shows that he doesn't really know those, either, because the weight of how "bad" not knowing what a lifevest is goes completely over Zhongli's head.

This grandpa's innocently clueless expression changes immediately upon hearing the boy mention he has been kidnapped once before. ]

It... seems so. May I ask why you were kidnapped last time?

[ perhaps there is indeed a connection? Zhongli isn't hopeful, but it is a well enough place to start. Then he remembers to add: ]

...Have you eaten? It would be wise of us to walk as we talk and find some food, if you have not. You will need the nourishment.

"There's a whole open deck. With spongy flooring." It's for sports, technically, but would work great for his purposes, if he could work himself up to being comfortable in all that open air. "And a dozen stupid little drinking places that would work. If you cleared the tables."

Seriously, like 80% of this ship is drinking places. It makes no sense.

[not done? hurry up on that then!]

I was going to this drill thing to find out. Figured whoever said to meet them there oughta know more about this ship overall, so they'd have answers. Until I got stuck down there, I dunno why I couldn't move.

[because his broken compass was telling him 'deck 1 is this way' when really, it was the other way, but he'll never figure that out]

[ Poor guy. Zhongli can only look sheepishly apologetic. ] I will make sure to not do so in the future. May I buy you a drink for my error?

[ Zhongli won't tell a soul of the other's borderline nefarious actions. ]

Did you manage to find what you were seeking?

It's subtle, but her shoulders lift a hair, and something in her expression sharpens, just a little, like something he's said has more meaning to her than just a litany of strange events. There isn't anything hostile there, just...interest.

"Well, at least one of us might have had a good night's sleep." A heartbeat's pause. "Only the one living dead man?"

[ Zhongli can tell he's different from humans, but he is not quite sure what the other is as of current. It matters little, anyway, considering the revelation would have zero effect on his manners towards the teenager.

Zhongli checks the red spots, making sure there is no bleeding (but those will more than likely bruise) before offering a smile. ] I am quite fine, thank you for the concern. [ he's kicked much harder heavier things than that mop and it's bucket friend. ]

Shall we go find some ice or pain reliever? I imagine you will be sore there the next day or two.

[ he doesn't doubt gin's toughness or his courage--- the proof is already there, having already deflected a bunch of forks and knives.

also he's not going to just leave the boy out here alone! ]

Soft serve... [ robin laughs lightly. is that a compliment or not? he can't tell. it's sort of cute regardless. ] ... nevermind that. You can't stay out here by yourself!

[ doesn't matter how old or young a person is, shouldn't gin also work to get himself into a room that isn't dangerous? ]

[Isabelle wishes she could say no, she doesn't hear anything, but she's a dog, so the voices are unfortunately loud and clear. There's no such thing as ghosts, though, right? Hahaha...]

It's a real nasty trick, isn't it? Hiding from us and saying all of these rude things! Whoever's doing it ought to show themselves before they get too carried awaaaaaaay!

[She's taken by surprise when Peter shoves her out of the way.]

H-hey! What was that for!?

...Tingly, you say?

[ zhongli has selected a drink once he's sure they are for others to freely take. he's not sure what any of them are, so he selects one that looks closest to the alcohols and spirits he's familiar with. ...or, no maybe the bright blue one, instead, as it's very ~~shiny~~ pretty looking. ]

Would you be so kind as to elaborate? [ Tingly is not a sensation he is familiar with, he is quite sure. ]

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TEST DRIVE MEME #1

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a freakin' bat :0

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A

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3!

II.