[He reaches over the table to grab Marc's hand. Yes he feels pretty real right now. A solid, warm presence anyway. A light in the darkness that doesn't know his own effervescence, but perseveres anyway even when the going gets hard. Especially when the going gets hard.]

I'm glad I could be there for you Marc. [He wishes he could have done more for him. But that's all in the past now and why dig up all that pain? People are supposed to be at peace when they're dead.]

I'd rather be kissing you. If you keep that up I wouldn't be able to help myself. [He flashes Marc a teasing little smile.] You were never in my way. You saved my life in the gents. Let me live out a little slice of normal fantasy, for a little while. I couldn't see it then, but. You gave me everything I could have ever wanted.

[That doesn't mean that Steven is no longer upset that Marc lied to him, about mom. Made him feel like-- he keeps trying to defend her, in his head, try to make sense of it all, but she was terrible to Marc - to them. And Marc made him think Steven made him up. And all this while he made him think he had a sleeping disorder, kept up this façade - kept taping the door and pouring sand on the floor and everything. It's a lot of gaslighting to do to a nice, unintrusive little British man living in your head, Marc.]

I want to be there for you. And I want you to want this life - or, what's left of it anyway. I don't want you to throw away anything else you deserve for me. I want for you to not be afraid of happiness. Promise me, Marc - you'll stop running. You know I love you too much to keep-- watching you hurt yourself, like this. It's upsetting. [And he can't really help it. Marc made him full of love, and joy, and wonder - all the things Marc's denied himself, and not afraid to express any of it even though it makes Steven vulnerable, raw, prone to getting hurt. He can barely contain it all sometimes.]

And I'll promise you, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just-- I'm here for you now. Can't be there for you, that's all.