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TEST DRIVE MEME #10
a. that's where we both belong
[you wake up.
it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.
the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:
Dear Passenger(s),
As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.
At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!
See You Real Soon!
Sincerely,
Gal Friday
you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.
you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]
Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!
[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.
after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]
b. and there's plenty of that down by the sea
[it’s strange to think about, isn’t it? how all those new passengers, the ones grumbling or shouting their way through the forced muster drill, have absolutely no idea what happened just last month. no idea about the labyrinth. no concept of why anyone around them would be a bit more hesitant around shadows.
they’ll learn.
sometimes a shadow is darker than it’s supposed to be. very rarely does anything come of that; just a vague sense that someone is watching you, and little more. sometimes, though, the shadows move. sometimes they grab at your ankles as you walk. sometimes they give you a shove as you go down the stairs. sometimes they pull your hair, or pinch your arm.
sometimes you feel something sharp cut into your lower leg.
that’s not a shadow, though. that’s a fiddler crab. you see the crab, sometimes. the cut isn’t from its claws, which don’t look very intimating; it’s not a very large crab. the cut is from the large kitchen knife crudely taped onto its back. it’s probably fine. it's not chasing you. there isn't evil in its heart. probably.]
c. think I'll go back to the Keys
[one day, in the atrium, two pedestals suddenly appear. on each is a large button: one green, and one blue. pressing the blue button gives you a little treat, popping out of thin air next to you. pressing the green button sends a small electric shock through your body. weird, but, hey, pretty avoidable, right?
except, it seems to be spreading. to every other button on board.
in the elevator. on the soda machine. the arcade. your phone. the bell on Friday’s desk.]
no subject
"Dude," Darcy half-laughs in delight, "you have no idea what it's been like aboard with nobody into my music. I mean- there's Vance, he's a metalhead, but he's from the 70s, so it's all classic Led Zeppelin and shit. Like- I mean, it's never a good thing to have someone show up, or anything, but. You're cool, it's nice to meet you and everything."
no subject
If Gwen had a nickel for every time she ended up in a new universe and hit it off with someone over rock music—
"You've been living in a desert of good music taste for a year, and haven't lost your mind? Your strength, unmatched." Joking and yet also not joking, at all. "No, but, I get what you mean. I'd rather not have been copy-pasted across dimensions but— yeah, if I'm gonna be here it's nice meeting someone cool."
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"But I know, it's so hard, and yet I make it look so easy," a sigh.
"Don't let me keep you if you want to poke around the ship, though, ehn? Pretty much everywhere is free game. But if you go into the kitchen, keep it neat. Oh- and don't go too deep into the Tommy Bahama, there's a massive lump of clothing that eats people in there. His name is Bahamanuel and he's a Bahamanal. Or- I mean, I guess I keep calling him 'he', but he has, like, babies? Bahamaulettes? I don't know. I'm usually too busy trying not to get eaten to ask his pronouns, so."
no subject
Gwen blinks, but otherwise seems markedly unsurprised by the whole concept. "A massive lump of clothes that eats people. And has babies. You know, I could hear that was happening downtown and not even be surprised."
New York in a world with superheroes: it's weird!
"Trying not to get eaten does seem distracting. Plus it gets more awkward to ask the longer it's been since you bumped into someone, right? Like names. So maybe if I stumble into him I'll introduce myself, try and ask before I get eaten."
You cannot separate the Spider-Woman and her stupid sense of humour, even when she's not admitting to being Spider-Woman at all.
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They've heard New York is weird, but it can't be that weird.
"But no, totally. Bahamanuel isn't really a conversationalist, but I'm sure he'll appreciate the introduction."
no subject
Gwen laughs a little, brows raising. She could just tell them their friend was fucking with them, but also: "In my New York, we have a guy with superpowers who dresses like a Rhino and commits crime. Our sewer crocodiles are probably mutant, killer sewer crocodiles."
The girl got bitten by a radioactive spider.
Her New York kind of just is that weird.
no subject
"Why a rhino? That's like, the least crime-oriented animal I can think of. Oh no, fucking, watch out for a goddamn rhino robbing a bank. They're herbivores. Why not, like, a cooler animal."
Critiquing this random supervillain is more important than mutant killer sewer crocodiles in this moment.
no subject
Gwen has to hold back a that's almost exactly what I said the first time I fought the guy! "I have absolutely no idea. Maybe it's something to do with whatever his powers are? There's another guy who calls himself the vulture, which is better, right, because there's an actual metaphor there."
She has opinions on her villains' theming, okay. Luckily civilians are allowed such opinions too.
no subject
A brief pause.
"Man, what are birds deals? They do a weird amount of crime."
no subject
"It's the wings. It gives them a false sense of superiority and the opportunity opportunity for fly-by attacks."
This said as if it's a very obvious, very serious explanation.
no subject
No they're not telling Peter but they will laugh to theirself about it.
"Oh- shit, before I forget, ehn- you got your ship phone, right? You can text anyone aboard if you have their name and cabin number, I'm in 121."
no subject
Multiple people with wings on one boat, huh. Sure, why not. Really that's pretty tame compared to some of what she's used to.
Gwen's half way to pulling out her ship phone when her brain catches up and she blinks. Thinks back to what cabin she left, and— "—I think I woke up in 121."
no subject
"Record player, saint statues and a skull on the desk, kid's drawing on the wall?"
Jesus Christ.
"Would you believe this is the second time this has happened to me?"
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"No, actually, that's far more unbelievable than being copy pasted into a new dimension." Delivered with perfect mock seriousness. "But no, really, that's the one. Wow. Those are some odds."
She really should have connected the dots when Darcy mentioned the record player the first time, huh...
no subject
Sorry Gwen, you're a downgrade from Gideon.
"Joking. But yeah. Unlikely. I haven't had a roommate in ages. Ehn- I'm pretty chill about rules or whatever. I've got the bed right now, but we can roster if you want to share it. Or the couch is pretty comfortable. My shit's sort of spread out right now, so I'll clean things up when we get back."
...
"And don't worry about the skull, it's mine."
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"No, no, I get it, that is a high bar to clear." Also joking, but also not. She absolutely understands the appeal of being carried back to your room by a tall goth butch.
"I can take the couch. I'veeeee—" been basically interdimensionally couch surfing for weeks, "—slept on my friend's spare couch bed on his boat, before, it can't be any less comfortable than that."
Hobie's canal boat is actually pretty cool, but it's still a couch bed. She refused to take his actual bed.
She's not even going to ask how literally the skull is Darcy's, she's stepped in enough skeleton shaped holes today thank you.
no subject
What the fuck kind of friends does Gwen have?
"Anyway, yeah, it's like a couch bed. I never used to have it out but we can set it up, easy. Anything else, we can work out, ehn?"
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"It's inherited."
Because that explains everything, of course.
"But uh, yeah! Anything else we can work out. It's not like I have a lot else to make space for right now."
Her web-shooters are going to need to be tucked deep, deep in a drawer. And she's going to have to figure out clothes. And how to bring up some other stuff. Heck.
Probably wrap soon?
She's so good at answering questions in a way that makes Darcy even more confused.
"Anyway. Ehn-" Darcy's well and truly too cooled down to work a set, and they've got other shit to do by now, "I guess I'll see you. Tonight?"
yeah i think so
You'd think she's a good liar after three years of hiding being Spider-woman, but in reality it's very easy to cover your ass to a dad who's working all the time and you don't have to lie to your friends if you don't have any!
She's doing great. Life's been great. Haha.
"Yeah, tonight. I should... probably explore."
no subject
And then they leave, because fuck you Gwen two can play at this game.
no subject
"Wait, what?" Blink blink, Gwen stands up as they leave. "What do you mean, cannibal were-cougar? Darcy? Why is there a— and you're gone. Okay. Yeah, I earned that..."