TEST DRIVE MEME #10

[sailmods]

a. that's where we both belong

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

b. and there's plenty of that down by the sea

[it’s strange to think about, isn’t it? how all those new passengers, the ones grumbling or shouting their way through the forced muster drill, have absolutely no idea what happened just last month. no idea about the labyrinth. no concept of why anyone around them would be a bit more hesitant around shadows.

they’ll learn.

sometimes a shadow is darker than it’s supposed to be. very rarely does anything come of that; just a vague sense that someone is watching you, and little more. sometimes, though, the shadows move. sometimes they grab at your ankles as you walk. sometimes they give you a shove as you go down the stairs. sometimes they pull your hair, or pinch your arm.

sometimes you feel something sharp cut into your lower leg.

that’s not a shadow, though. that’s a fiddler crab. you see the crab, sometimes. the cut isn’t from its claws, which don’t look very intimating; it’s not a very large crab. the cut is from the large kitchen knife crudely taped onto its back. it’s probably fine. it's not chasing you. there isn't evil in its heart. probably.]

c. think I'll go back to the Keys

[one day, in the atrium, two pedestals suddenly appear. on each is a large button: one green, and one blue. pressing the blue button gives you a little treat, popping out of thin air next to you. pressing the green button sends a small electric shock through your body. weird, but, hey, pretty avoidable, right?

except, it seems to be spreading. to every other button on board.

in the elevator. on the soda machine. the arcade. your phone. the bell on Friday’s desk.]

Comments

[lordoftheozarks]

Erik does not need to breathe, but at moments like these he takes in a very slow breath just to give himself time to calm his explosive anger.

"...Yes, that is an accurate descriptor of Max." He can only wonder how many people his pet has revealed that fact to by now. "Because I am his master and he needs to come home."

[lordoftheozarks]

He bares his teeth at her, rage coursing through him so hot that it actually brings a faint flush into his cheeks.

"You're afraid for me, are you?"

[lordoftheozarks]

"That's wise of you. There could be no worse crime against Max than that." He does care about his human, whether they believe it or not, and he cannot bring himself to crush Max's spirit that way.

"This is an interesting definition of forgiving."

[lordoftheozarks]

"Max is one of your favorite people, is he?" Erik seethes. "How do you suppose he is going to feel when he finds out what you are doing to me here? Do you think Max will be pleased?"

As for the rest? What the fuck does this lunatic think he knows about his and Max's life together? Where would Max be? Dead. That's where. Dead or worse.

"Don't tell me I'm a stand-in for the father you could never stab?" Another wince and hiss as the knife slips back into him. Fuck this! "What a pathetic piece of shit you are. I cannot wait for Max to discover the truth about you. I suppose your father taught you well."

[lordoftheozarks]

"Have you? What a relief. Unfortunately, I've already encountered quite a lot of hostility based on what I am." (Yes, it's the vampire part people had a problem with, clearly.)

"I do appreciate your words of encouragement, but my introduction to this ship has not been an overall friendly one. Perhaps I need someone like you to introduce me to better members of the populace."

[busball]

"I think he'll forgive me. All things considered." There's a shrug. "And you're not dead, so that's a point in my favor, isn't it? Also you're a piece of shit."

Klaus is glad that Max is alive, but the stuff after that? No. Why not make changes in the way things were done, Erik? Actually care for him!

There's a smile. "You think you can hurt me? Cause that's funny. But no. You two are just similar. True, he might actually be proud of me for this. But that's not gonna make me feel bad about it. Cause Diego would be more proud of me and that matters to me more."

[lordoftheozarks]

"I expect only the natural level of respect that is due to anyone," Erik answers. Would he like more? Yes. But he is not the lord of this territory so he will make do.

He loops his arm in hers gracing her with a gentlemanly smile, one that doesn't show his teeth. If she brushes his pale hand, she may notice that his skin is as cold as a corpse.

[redlightgreenlight]

Less wisdom and more the fact that she loves Max more than anything else in this life. In fact, she had given that life to the Captain for him. Him and Ari.

"Men like you only listen to power."

[not_the_last]

"And you ... helped found this conference, and this guild, to organize things for your people. That's impressive."

It's only a question if he wants it to be, but she's looking at him with decided approval.

[decohere]

She was familiar with Claudia and Diana, before they had been taken by the Nothing, to have a sense of what that cool touch of the skin means.

But. She doesn't particularly care, unless somebody is trying to bite into her.

"Ah good. I was raised in a lab. So manners are the last thing I worry about. And certain types of people take that as being rude." A wrinkle of her nose.

"Anyway, the drill shouldn't take so long. You'll get a neat necklace, if they're still doing that. And then you'll be free to explore."

[not_the_last]

"Aren't you? You should be."

She sighs. "Nevertheless, while I certainly understand the impulse, ultimately I think it'll be bad for morale if this continues. Even if all this is deserved, it's ... well, it's uncivilized. And then there's poor Max to consider; he'll be positively wretched if he finds out what's become of you. You saw to that."

(Just a flash of cold condemning wrath on those last words, like light reflecting off an icy blade flicking out and concealed again.)

"So it seems my course is clear. Little as I care for the idea, I'm going to have to claim you as mine, to keep the others away."

[maximumcake]

"You might want to be careful about that because it's not a huge ship so you don't want to accidentally get off on the wrong foot here." The rumor mills are vicious.

He wilts a little when she asks that of his name. "Um... I never actually knew my mom. She left when I was little. My name used to be something else but... it's a long story. I didn't pick it, though, for the record."

[maximumcake]

"No kidding? That makes sense. I've always loved swimming." Eventually, this is going to stop feeling so weird, right? Like he's giving himself deja vu.

"That's good. I don't wanna throw shade at the people who do smoke, but I've never really liked the habit. It can damage your taste buds so things don't taste right anymore and that would suck so much. You probably already know how much I love to cook."

[hate_gettin_older]

He laughs at the last words. "Like it's breathing, man. They got a kitchen here? Or anything like it?"

[sabigoe]

[ Fio gently takes the plush doll back into her arms. She caresses the faux fur as if the doll's the same as a well-loved pet, before releasing her back into midair. The truth about Judith is that she belongs to another unfortunate little girl. That child, however, is not around on this boat, so Fio has tasked herself as the new caretaker. Sometimes she wonders if that girl would appreciate the new rainbow threads if she ever got the chance to return her to the correct owner. There would be plenty of new stories and memories of the bear's adventures to share.

The way Voyager refers to everyone else or well, the majority of the populace, as "human beings" is a little peculiar. As if he's nonhuman or something! But of course, Fio takes it with stride and without a question. Without a doubt, Pollux is strong. The sight of watching her destroy a ball in a single blow is something Fio would never forget. And though she has never seen Castor in action, she's certain he possessed strength that's equal to his sister. The siblings seemed fond of children. Perhaps they would have gotten on well with Voyager too... ]

She can, but she needs a nice long rest after she does her super special magic trick. It's a little prettier when you see it at night time though!

[ Her companion's powers are usually reserved for emergencies. Today feels like it's going to be one of those many peaceful days where it's safe enough to show off. Or she can save the surprise for the evening. ]

What about you, Voyvoy? [ It has been decided. ] Do you know any other magic tricks? Or superpowers. Polly punched a ball once and it went... [ Makes a big gesture with her arms. ] Boom! With a really loud noise. I had to make sure to cover my ears.

[actuallyawolf]

The stairwell is a bit of a tight squeeze. Perhaps this was not the best replacement shape. No matter; Ylva holds her wings against her body and scrambles up the stairs after him. Eagles are not the most graceful on the ground, but there are birds that are worse, and she's big enough to take the stairs a few at a time.

Once she's in the open air she spreads her wings wide, giving a shrill hunting call, a challenge.

[guildmastermind]

"Well, I certainly couldn't have done any of it alone. I had others who were really instrumental in taking my idea and making it a reality." He actually blushes and ducks his head a little sheepishly. "I'm good with strategy, but no plan lasts in its original form, you know?"

[not_the_last]

"Oh," she sighs, with a rueful smile, "believe me, I know. But no, I don't believe anyone ever accomplishes any great work wholly alone."

[ablativeholopleather]

Clearly it wasn't because his reputation preceded him, totally.

"Yeah, a lot of us have a weird time adjusting to this place and not everyone's gonna be friendly, but I think that's just how some people are. It's not like we have it all that easy here even with the way everything's presented all leisurely and stuff. If you hang with me at least you'll get to meet some of my crew here, they're all really great."

[aurthor]

"No," a small laugh, he can't help it. "That's a person, not just a mythical Norse god?" Sure, why not?

"I don't want to impress people! That's why I quit it." It's worse when they think he's competent, okay okay.

"Well, we mostly pay people for any excess blood draws. You can't keep blood infinitely, you know." Actually in his time period, you can barely keep it all, because the means to separate plasma by type doesn't exist yet.

As for Molly telling everyone, he rolls his eyes. "You're a kid. Even if you do tattle on me, I can call you fanciful and ridiculous and paranoid. See? What teamwork? More like mutual beneficiary temporary partnership."

But as to sports, he gets it. "I'll bet. I have the same problem as a vampire sometimes. Except I don't mind cheating. Don't be like me, not that you have any inclination, rightly so."

Discovery? Okay.

And he doesn't ask about the hiding location, since his revealing the vampire thing just means he's not worried about her tattling on him. Additionally if she's in hiding, obviously.

He just TILTS HIS HEAD about the sad commercials. "What's a commercial? But that just sounds like manipulation. I don't mean emotional extortion for money, I mean--" he closes the blue eyes thinking! "Like Moby Dick started America's movement against whaling. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about." Damn it. What's a bigger -- "Uncle Tom's Cabin inspired people in America to fight against the evils of slavery?" Is this any more helpful? He can't help it, he's 100 years behind her! "Marco Polo inspired Italians to travel the world and that's why Christopher Columbus found the Americas??" Yes, working backwards, that will help. Finally he just shrugs. "I can't help that all my examples are ancient. I'm old." Literally the only reason he started telling stories to children in the first place. "Maybe Discovery is like that? I can't say. But it's like, if instead of punching or throwing bad guys through walls, you used stories to make people want to hold them accountable and stop them."

[mollificent]

"Uh. He can be both a person and a Norse god at the same time!" Duh!

"Okaaaaay?" Why is he like that, though? Don't doctors like to be doctors? Don't they want to heal people and stuff?

"Hm." She doesn't really know that much. "Don't you guys have fridges and stuff?" Cause she hasn't quite figured out the time. Don't ask her the year she's in either cause I don't know

There's a sort of sour expression on her face at that. "You sound just like every other adult I know. Always discrediting us cause we're kids and acting like you have all the power."

She crosses her arms over her chest, looking generally unimpressed. "You shouldn't cheat just cause you can. Except at video games. It's not fun if you always win all the time just cause you're cheating."

"Um. Like a short video on the TV between TV shows?" Or sports games if you do watch them. "Moby who?" She just stares at the rest of it. Like yes she's in middle school, but she doesn't know about any of this stuff. Except Gert's continued assertions that Columbus is a fraud and a terrible person. Also her complaints about school in general. There's a long stare once he gets to the end. "Stories don't keep people from being bank robbers or trying to kill other people. Sometimes even the police can't keep people from doing those things. So we do. If we have to. Also, you can't make Wolverine feel any way except for like Wolverine does."

[aurthor]

"True enough. Although if he's real, I suppose all the others are too? I want to meet Zeus." They can have competitions on seducing women. The one person to defeat Arthur.

"What the blazes is a fridge? We don't even have electricity or telephones or cars yet." He misses cars. "It's all horse drawn carriage. Or the soldiers just ride directly on horses." Jean and Napoleon he means. "And I was never a jockey. I loved racing cars, but I'm a few decades behind that time." Totally not confusing.

"I'm not discounting you at all. I'm relying on other adults' foolishness and ignorance. Don't try to blackmail me then, see? Easy solution."

Arthur grins ferally. "I always win, and it's great fun. What's video games? Like cards or board games? All right, what's vi-dee-oh? Or Tee-vee?" Whooooosh. "Moby Dick. It's a book by Herman Melville. About whaling. Everyone kept asking my opinion on it as both an author and having been a Doctor on a whaling expedition."

He tilts his head. "You can't absolutely change individuals. You can inspire police to learn forensics and real chains of evidence rather than resorting to bigotry or the kind of suspicion that caused the Reign of Terror in France." This is worse than trying to talk to Dazai and Sebastian and Comte's newest guest. "Before Edgar Allen Poe," more specifically Sherlock Holmes, "Police didn't really think to look at evidence and clues, they completely missed the mystery in front of their faces. Like if someone just saw a hole in the ship walls and blamed you for it just because you're strong. That's not right, is it? So I write stories teaching people to investigate and prove the true perpetrator. Like if it's obviously machine sliced, that's to your favor. Or if there's ink left nearby, you can track down the source to a a giant squid." Unlikely, but that's his point. "You can't stop bank robbers, but you can stop people from accusing any random person they don't like and teach them to use fingerprints, and trace evidence to track down the real robber." He's very strong about this. "Wolverine might still be a pain, but you, or another author, could use stories to show why what he's doing is wrong, and teach everyone else not to do that, and therefore, prevent him from getting away with it."

Okay he starts walking to get coffee. It's his lifeblood. Literally. And he looks around at the drinks. "I haven't the foggiest what 'bubble tea' is, but would you like some?" My treat, well luckily, there's no money, but whatever. He'll help her get it.

"Let's say I was to make a story about all of this. I'd makes it about a detective," damn it Holmes, "Investigating what nefarious motivations are behind this ship and I'd write an escape in mind so that anyone who read it, would know how to think about their own escape. Or if it was a story about Wolverine, I'd write the public yelling at him for not listening to the whole story, for just deciding he wants to pester a young woman who very much does not want him to. Public pressure is stronger force than a hurricane. It's the only thing that can make me change what I was doing."

[guildmastermind]

“I have a habit of approaching political maneuvering the same way I’d approach a group battle against an epic monster of some sort. Know your team and their strengths. Know your enemy and their weaknesses. Know everyone’s resources to bring to bear.”

Yes, he’s probably going to approach life on the Serena Eterna similarly, once he has a sense of who is ‘his team’ and who is ‘his enemy’.

[mollificent]

Molly shrugs. "I dunno. I know Loki and Thor are real. I don't really know about the others. Why Zeus?"

She frowns at that. "Wooooah. That's so weird." Cause she's so used to things like video games and Chase drives the van. "It's a big box that keeps things cold!"

"I don't think so. Doc Justice said the same kind of things before he tried to kill Karolina."

Molly shrugs. "Nah. I don't wanna. No. It's...hard to explain." She sighs. "It can be a lot of different things, but you play them on the TV or on a handheld console. Only we don't have a lot of money for those." She sighs again. "It's an electronic device that you can watch movies or like shows on. "A book about whaling?" She doesn't want to read it now.

"Yeah, but the police are corrupt and you can't actually count on them." A beat. "Wolverine is one of the X-Men. He's not like Piledriver and Thunderball. Or the other guys." Ummmm. "I'm not an author. I don't write books. I'm in middle school."

She looks at him in confusion. "Bubble tea is this drink with these bubbles in it. They can be chewy ones or just the fruity kind. I dunno how to make it, though." She peeks around to see if anyone's there. No one seems to be. "Is there someone here to make the drinks?"

There's a slow blink as she listens to him. "What?"

[aurthor]

"I would pick up tips on pursuing skirts." Arthur, literally no one needs to know that.

"An icebox. I'm familiar with that. We can't let the blood get too chilled though, or it'll get rancid when it thaws." Then again, it wasn't like they were too constrained by the time period, Saint-Germaine got Arthur's royalties to him via the portal, so he probably did the same with blood and storing it?

"Moving pictures? You don't have to go to a theater?" How?

"Right, it's a bit gruesome, you needn't read it. You're probably more of a Jane Austen fan, right?" No. Arthur, you're still thinking 19th century. "Or... I have no idea. What do you like best?"

"What's middle school?" Well, age, right. "I started telling stories when I was only a child to all my siblings. And it was the only way I didn't get more bullied in school. You could start. You could write stories about corrupt police and how to spot and outsmart them." Which Holmes DID, actually.

"Okay, remembering that I'm severely outdated, what's the XMen? Oh! Milk tea! I know this. I'll make, it's fine." He might kind of, not really, remember it, but it didn't look hard, and Arthur isn't like Jean and in danger of blowing the kitchen or anything.

"What what? Oh. Public pressure?" He makes an annoyed sound. "I ended a series I was bored of and hated. There was a lot of outcry. I tried to get the readers to move on, and they refused. They tried to have an annual mourning and funeral services for a fictional character." He just rubs his face, puts the glasses on, and focuses on the bubble tea. Before even his own coffee. He's just still such a knight, he even forgot to pretend to be an asshole. "Devastatingly embarrassing. Eventually I wrote it again. I like the money." A lie, he likes the attention. Well, he likes the money too, but there's not enough money in the world to make up for it.