TEST DRIVE MEME #10

[sailmods]

a. that's where we both belong

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

b. and there's plenty of that down by the sea

[it’s strange to think about, isn’t it? how all those new passengers, the ones grumbling or shouting their way through the forced muster drill, have absolutely no idea what happened just last month. no idea about the labyrinth. no concept of why anyone around them would be a bit more hesitant around shadows.

they’ll learn.

sometimes a shadow is darker than it’s supposed to be. very rarely does anything come of that; just a vague sense that someone is watching you, and little more. sometimes, though, the shadows move. sometimes they grab at your ankles as you walk. sometimes they give you a shove as you go down the stairs. sometimes they pull your hair, or pinch your arm.

sometimes you feel something sharp cut into your lower leg.

that’s not a shadow, though. that’s a fiddler crab. you see the crab, sometimes. the cut isn’t from its claws, which don’t look very intimating; it’s not a very large crab. the cut is from the large kitchen knife crudely taped onto its back. it’s probably fine. it's not chasing you. there isn't evil in its heart. probably.]

c. think I'll go back to the Keys

[one day, in the atrium, two pedestals suddenly appear. on each is a large button: one green, and one blue. pressing the blue button gives you a little treat, popping out of thin air next to you. pressing the green button sends a small electric shock through your body. weird, but, hey, pretty avoidable, right?

except, it seems to be spreading. to every other button on board.

in the elevator. on the soda machine. the arcade. your phone. the bell on Friday’s desk.]

Comments

[intersected]

"Chuck," he says, and holds his hand out to shake. For a total nerd, he looks like he's been through the wringer lately. This is a guy who's just come out of a fight, and looks like he's come off worse.

"So do you have any idea what's up with these leis? They don't seem particularly...usual."

[lordoftheozarks]

The door is violently wrenched open and his glaring face pokes out into the hallway.

"How could you possibly have met me in Max's memories?"

[aurthor]

"Truly, I don't know enough about knives to say, but I can get a bit possessive over pens and coffee cups, and I suppose it's much the same." Because violence is survival for a crab, and pens are the writers' much needed weapon as well.

"Do what?" Oh. The dove thing. Birds. Got it! He offers a gentler smile. "Sorry. No harm meant, Pidge." He tilts his head down in a light apology and leans on a fist. "All women are a mystery, and more than allowed to keep their secrets." Even if it riled up his curiosity something awful. "Pidgin is a word for business, and reminds me of my best friend, his dream is to promote business and remind Europe of the beauty of art. Pigeons are just very sweet creatures. Always free, but so curious how they do best in cities so often known as prisons of mankind's less wealthy. A living contradiction and an embodiment proof that not all creatures rely on violence to flourish. So either reminder is a welcome one for me."

And a laugh about the dramatic quest. "If that's the case, I may have to keep a closer eye on him as a storyteller to see how the adventure ends!" He shouldn't, so he doesn't, but he desperately wants to pull out his magnifying glass for laughs. "The Curious Case of the Cruise Crustacean!" A beat, and he shakes his head. "No wait, too much alliteration, that's got his style all over it." Not his own, Dazai's. He still can't resist a little of it. "Oh sod it, I'm keeping it. Even that bloke deserves a smile now and again."

[crushed_pearls]

"Progress! He speaks!" Erin throws her hands into the air sarcastically; she's not in the direction of the muster, she can afford to chat. "Reality was falling apart in March, big rifts into people's pasts. There was a ball at Eshe's estate, with Max on a leash. I tried to tell you he's the blood of my oath, and you wouldn't have it. Tried to buy him off you, you wouldn't have it. Ended up killing you in a duel in front of Max, Josiah, and Eshe, and wouldn't you know it, you couldn't even die usefully, your fucking death started a vampire civil war and rampant ghoul attacks in major urban centers."

[crushed_pearls]

Erin laughs a light and friendly laugh. "Honestly the ship is only so big. The morgue might be the least-used room but even then it still like, sees travel sometimes. Which is kinda what I'm driving at? This might be a floating city but there's still a maximum distance you can get from other human people here."

[bubblegumheart]

"Oh, well that still sounds like a lot to have to deal with." She has no reason to doubt what he's saying, though. It sounds a little out there, sure, but no more so than most of people she's spoken to about home. Any specific ideas she'd had about the way things were supposed to be have been blown out of the water during her time here.

"That's all we really can do," she tells him. It'd certainly be easy to dwell on the fact that there's no way off this ship, but she's chosen to try to see the silver lining, scant as it is sometimes.

"It's been about eight months. I woke up here just before Halloween."

[guildmastermind]

"Zombies. Okay, I feel confident about helping to deal with zombies. If that comes up again, I'm fine, absolutely fine." He manages a bit of a smile at the thought.

[guildmastermind]

He nods his understanding, still thoughtful about everything.

"I'm sure I'll be able to figure out how to get by, even with such spatial limitations. Really."

[pineapplesalmon]

A soft laugh. "We don't fight those often." His smile fades a bit. "We've dealt with people getting possessed, before. It was chaos."

[dupli_arms]

Oh no. That question does not bode well.

"I was hanging out with Ojiro, waiting for some of the others to get back from work study. Midoriya was assigned to go with Togata, and after everyone else scattered I turned in early...

"What have I missed?"

[guildmastermind]

"Well. Whatever comes up, I'll find a way to make myself useful to the passengers of this ship. After all, this is my reality, too, now."

Useful, again. It seems to be his lodestar, right now.

[ablativeholopleather]

"On what, the powers thing? I mean it'd be pretty hypocritical of me considering my skillset." He shrugs a shoulder, returning to his meal for a couple of bites. "People around here refer to it as 'magic' but that's not something that exists on my world. I can heal people, hurt people or put them to sleep. If I use food a certain way, it can produce recovery-based effects, fix breaks, cause freakouts, that kind of thing."

[pineapplesalmon]

A lodestar. An anchor. Call it what one will, but it was a start. A useful one, even.

"I'd be very surprised if you didn't, to be honest." César will encourage that.

[plangona]

[octavia doesn't flinch even when she sees wayne, he was strange looking with the shape of his head and the colour of his skin but it was right up there with that faceless lady who was welcoming them onboard.

it is when she notices how he is unphased by her sword, talking to her so casually as if nothing had happened that confusion crosses her expression as she sheathes her weapon] Yeah, I'm new. What's your deal anyway?

[dupli_arms]

Every ear turns toward the...cougar? Yes, that really is a cougar that's talking to them. Well, it isn't the oddest thing he's ever encountered, considering his...y'know. Everything. A few of those ears turn into eyes, though only one remains focused on Siffleur while the rest turn back in the direction of the bahaminal.

"I'd rather not be hunted, thank you," he replies as politely as he can, bowing in the direction of the big cat watching his appendages.

[konpeito_aji]

"Your own ends are too small yet. Grow your ambition if you want to impress me."

Speaking of which, Nobunaga just laughs evilly, and loudly. "BWAHAHAHAH!" He's genuinely delighted at being called out on that, because it's too funny to him. "I know I'm a demon king! Not just any Demon King, the ultimate maou of 6th Heaven! None worse. But I never tell those I'm hurting it's for their own good! And I never lie to myself or do things to hate myself. How truly weak," he shakes his head again, actually kind of pitying Erik again. "You're not without potential, you know this, yet you waste it." A head tilt. "Why?"

[teethoftherisk]

He chuckles a little and inclines his head back towards the man with many ears. "Of course. If you change your mind, I'm sure you can find me."

And with that, he slips back into the displays, letting Erin and her new friend enjoy some peace and quiet.

[plangona]

[octavia knows that she probably looks like she got in a fight or even murdered someone, both of which aren't uncommon assumptions she typically gets even back home but after dealing with the crab just a few moments ago, wouldn't be all that surprised if someone jump to conclusion from seeing her current appearance.

there's not much she's really threatened by let alone some guy who seems to be responding to her offhanded comment but she is glad that's what he chooses to address rather than the fact she's covered in blood] Let's go with the short one.

cw: Jack the Ripper, true crime, child abuse mini-flashback

[aurthor]

"Evisceration is quite the strong word, lass."

He probably feels his blood colder now than when he was still in the puddle! Jack the Ripper????

Surely not...

And yet, that's the kind of nagging feeling when it came to mysteries that never let Arthur down. Damn. Just what was happening in her world?

"He was always kind to you?" Maybe Jack knew the naiad was capable of protecting herself. Maybe it was just that he was only biased against prostitutes. Arthur himself had seen more of the forensic evidence than he wants to ever admit to, even though he was specifically banned from it, on account of almost being a suspect and he feels almost like he's drowning again, remembering a little too well those days. His own father's visits to prostitutes thrown back in Arthur's face as if that had anything to do with it, as if Arthur was harboring dark desires to mutilate women. Any woman. As if he resented prostitutes. He didn't then, and even now he still adores all women. Prostitutes are sensible strong women who usually have greater survival skills than even most soldiers, and that mad the murders all the worse, as far as he was concerned.

Jack was believed to have medical experience so there was that. The cuts were too precise, and so even trying to dam all the leaks, as one of the leading forensic doctors, Doyle had been more than asked about it, he'd been suspected.

"Can you drink alcohol? I just could really use a strong drink right about now." Theo is a little shoulder angel devil on his shoulder in his head, but maybe the shoulder angel Vincent (Theo's older brother!) is the less wise one? Since shoulder Theo reminds Arthur that he's not the best at holding his drinks, and there is no Theo or Comte to protect Arthur here from himself. I don't need it. He wants to insist and yet...

"Even if it's just coffee?" he flashes a small smile, but it doesn't reach those deep ocean eyes.

"I'm familiar with stories of a Jack who wanted to evsicerate Whitechapel." He blows a heavy huff between pursed lips, choosing his words carefully. Ironically, wasn't Dracula posited as a hysterical theory by some? And here he is a vampire now even, and Vlad is real and -- not the point. "I want to take back calling him a compatriot." Oops. Too honest. "The murders I hate the most are of beautiful young women. But Whitechapel, despite the name, is a grisly place not much liked by many. Jack the Ripper wasn't the only man who would want it eviscerated. However... I rather wish it was elevated. Lifted out of its fog and sorrow. That the people could live without always crushing the weak and innocent." Way too honest. He closes his eyes and takes a steadying breath, offering out a hand an arm to the watery woman all the same. "Come drink with me and I will tell you stories to put a smile on your face instead of pain in your heart."

Well, maybe she liked that sort of thing? Women loved true crime as much as the next bloke, but Arthur would swear on his own grave that it was more that humans loved the sense of justice, the idea that mysteries, even those of Jack the Ripper could be solved by quick thinking and keen observation.

[aurthor]

So definitely a time thing, huh.

"I've never had lab-grown meat, so there's that. Does it taste the same?" Presumably... not. And Arthur just laughs. Perk. The French cuisine connoissuers of Le Comte's mansion would be having an aneurysm right now. Arthur definitely would like to see Sebastian's head explode about it.

"Aye," the author nods calmly. "What year are you from then if you don't mind me asking? I was just in the late 1800s myself." Just in, because he lived his life, died, when backwards in time and overlaps himself, it's a headache. Don't ask. "But the chef I live with is Japanese and so is one other writer." Dazai. "And we're all in Paris, so there's a lot of food experimentation happening." Especially since vampires don't need to eat non-blood, they just do. Out of habit. And for fun.

Arthur carefully avoids suggesting what his own tastes run towards since describing blood means vampire, and also pretty sexual for him, and not even remotely appropriate casual dinner conversation.

[astrogator]

You're almost right! I like history - but spacer history by definition involves a fair amount of travel. The cultures on the more isolated colonies, the perils of the journey back when it still took a very long time to get anywhere, all of that. Now you can get from the central worlds to the frontier in just half a standard year! [Trust her. For space, that's quick.]

I suppose it's not impossible that our captor read this Robinson Crusoe. That's hardly an endorsement of the text, but I'll value your opinion more highly than his. I'll read it, if I find it. It sounds like one of those stories about people getting stranded on uninhabited planets. [Ari laughs.] My captain gave me one of those once, while I was still in training. Said something like now Tayrey, don't treat this as a technical manual. Of course it's all probability, if it happens for real. Your resources, how far out you are from help, how your people hold up under pressure.

[Being stuck on an uninhabited planet with a Tradeline team would definitely be easier than being stuck here, she thinks, but she just gives Arthur another smile.] There's an awful lot to be said for having a valuable second to fall back on. Doctor Watson will be very fortunate to have you.

Look here - [She opens one of the cupboards.] Bandages and dressings. Supplies are on the low side at the moment. [That probably needs explanation.] I usually check in here when I'm on patrol. It's good to keep track of these things.

[aurthor]

"Is it really that surprising?"

Oh, she probably doesn't go around this size, perhaps. So it'd be like someone accurately pinpointing that Arthur is a vampire, before he even said anything to them! He'd have been unnerved too!

He pushes the horn-rimmed red glasses up with a hand striking his best Sherlock explaining the mystery conclusion pose -- he lasted one whole day trying to resist doing that so no one linked him to his famous character. One day. Good job Arthur.

"Elementary my dear!" He doesn't even know how popular that phrase becomes, help him. "This is our first meeting and you are but nearly Thumbelina sized to my eyes. Though I'm hardly an expert in fairy tales and mythology, I only took up storytelling to entertain children, so of course I'm familiar with Thumbelina and the contemporaries." Contemporaries Erin. "I have always been of the mind that fairies are everywhere, but know how to avoid such dangerous humans. Secondly, all good people, and even wicked naughty men like myself know that fairies love to ride their steeds into mischief and mayhem, a most alluring prospect when opportunity presents itself so readily! Without hummingbirds and squirrels here, a crab on a ship absolutely makes the most logical sense. And thirdly and finally," he leans down with a wicked smirk! Although this probably puts him into a good range to be stabbed by Erin, even if he keeps on his toes with the crab steed! "I'm not human either." He wonders if she can tell what he is! By magic or otherwise.

"I'm Arthur," he offers a hand finger shake? Finger shake! "Pleased to make your acquaitance little miss. I suppose you're not usually this size then? I will admit, that's probably an unfair advantage in my favor." But he's always lucky in that luck is just tricking the odds to look like it's always on your side via pure calculation.

[glassaxolotl]

Dedue’s gaze turns to steel.
“What?”

[aurthor]

[Arthur is completely charmed and can't help laughing a little!]

Well, up until the 1900s I can give you more Earth history than any Earther would ever be interested in. We have colonies, but they're owned the crown, the royalty. Government. A company overthrowing it, and doing its own colonies completely chills my bones! But when I think about it, East India Company already pulls some major strings with the crown, convincing the monarchy to defend their trading rights in India or elsewhere, so it might just be more honest your way.

I'll admit though, it's a little staggering to hear talk of planets and starship travel. It gets my writer's blood all fired up! [So much, he forgot he was going to avoid mentioning it altogether. Well, he'll just claim he's a sport or history writer as a hobby. It's not lying! Even if it kind of reversing the order of things.] If you drink at all, I'd love to bend your ear about all this, I'll promise equal exchange in answers for questions, aye?

[Oh right. Watson. Doctor-also-writer Watson.]

[His grin takes on a mysterious distant quality, quite nearly sad!] I'm very fond of calculating odds myself. My secret forte. Even old Newt-boy, Newt-chan-- [Arthur doesn't always get along with Dazai, but his antipathy is one-sided rivalry, and Dazai and Arthur definitely agree on teasing Isaac Newton!] Can't beat me there. [Mostly because Arthur "cheats" and backs up his calculations with a deep understanding of human behavior and psychology.] No matter how I look at it, Doctor Watson isn't the lucky one in this. [Arthur... could be. It's a ridiculous opportunity if you want to go on the authenticity angle! Not every day your characters are given external life, he'd have to be an idiot to waste it. But it's a total head trip. Like looking into a mirror, knowing that the reflection has a mind and will of its own. Who's the true reflection in that case? Did he a good enough job that the reflection has more autonomy than himself? And he's still glad it's not the detective bleh!] But it's nice of you to say so, lass, ta!

Supplies are low. So we stop at port to refresh them, or does a supply ship come up alongside?

[Oh good, perhaps this helps get him closer to solving the Rouge mystery. Where is the vampire blood coming from, and are there pretty maidens in need of rescue? A vampire rescuing women from being vampire food just seems like it can't end well.] What's the longest someone other than the Captain's been here? Is the entirety of the ship explored by -- [He would have said "passengers" to spare a young woman the harsher realities, but she's a Lieutenant and smart as a whip! He gives her a sly knowing smirk instead.] Non-local imports? [Treating them like things, same as supplies. Maybe that's literally what they ARE for all he knows. But it doesn't take away their autonomy or capacity to fight back.] Or I suppose... the supplies refresh the same way as us mandatory boarders? [Mandatory, because no one remembers signing up, preparing, and so forth. It still knackers him how they got past Sebastian and Comte without notice. Impossible has begun to lose all its meaning. And boarders, because 'victims' still isn't quite right and seems too helpless.]

[lordoftheozarks]

"My death started that?" He almost sounds impressed with himself. "Why should I believe anything you say. You could have gotten Max to tell you enough to make the lie convincing."