TEST DRIVE MEME #10

[sailmods]

a. that's where we both belong

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

b. and there's plenty of that down by the sea

[it’s strange to think about, isn’t it? how all those new passengers, the ones grumbling or shouting their way through the forced muster drill, have absolutely no idea what happened just last month. no idea about the labyrinth. no concept of why anyone around them would be a bit more hesitant around shadows.

they’ll learn.

sometimes a shadow is darker than it’s supposed to be. very rarely does anything come of that; just a vague sense that someone is watching you, and little more. sometimes, though, the shadows move. sometimes they grab at your ankles as you walk. sometimes they give you a shove as you go down the stairs. sometimes they pull your hair, or pinch your arm.

sometimes you feel something sharp cut into your lower leg.

that’s not a shadow, though. that’s a fiddler crab. you see the crab, sometimes. the cut isn’t from its claws, which don’t look very intimating; it’s not a very large crab. the cut is from the large kitchen knife crudely taped onto its back. it’s probably fine. it's not chasing you. there isn't evil in its heart. probably.]

c. think I'll go back to the Keys

[one day, in the atrium, two pedestals suddenly appear. on each is a large button: one green, and one blue. pressing the blue button gives you a little treat, popping out of thin air next to you. pressing the green button sends a small electric shock through your body. weird, but, hey, pretty avoidable, right?

except, it seems to be spreading. to every other button on board.

in the elevator. on the soda machine. the arcade. your phone. the bell on Friday’s desk.]

Comments

[treasonlikebeauty]

"As I don't exactly know my way around just yet, I could hardly say no, not if I had any sense."

He limps a little, but he has too much pride to make much of an injury, stab-wound or otherwise. "You know, of all things that could have caused me to be desirable here, I'm not sure I would have expected my tailoring skills to be at the top of the list. I suppose that does explain some of the, ah, fashion choices I've seen around here."

[saltwaterlungs]

She doesn't like loud sounds, huh?

Darcy vaults through the dining room, shoulder-checking the door open. Max gets a text that reads-

kitchd help chased not hrp chased hrlrp food

-and some semblance of a plan starts to form in his head. Which deck is- upper, two up, Darcy bolts for the stairs, trying to save time by sticking gecko-style to the inside wall rather than risking tripping on the stairs. It's a risky spot if he gets caught, but if he can just make it to the promenade-

[crushed_pearls]

"The habitual crimes against the very sense of vision? Yeah." Erin gestures vaguely in the direction of the Promenade. "We've got exactly one clothing store and it's the tackiest faux-rich shit ever shat out by the various Earths that have existed, but there sure is a literally infinite supply of it. If you decide to ply your trade here lemme know, I'm willin' to go on expeditions into there to get you raw materials in exchange for getting some work done. I uh, didn't always have these wings and now a bunch of my wardrobe has this exciting new feature where if I put it on the wings will shred it."

[treasonlikebeauty]

"... oh, I had heard something about people being... changed." Garak frowns, rather put off by the idea. "I hadn't realised you were a victim of such a thing as well. My condolences."

He shakes his head, then smiles. "It is work I enjoy. I suppose eventually I may get bored of the charming company and free drinks and feel the need to keep myself busy again."

[crushed_pearls]

"It helps to keep a vigorous schedule," Erin agrees pleasantly. "So uh, been trying to find a way to ask this without being rude and I don't think I'm gonna find one - what manner of person are ya? Like -" she gestures to All of Garak. "Unless I'm about to learn something real exciting you're clearly not human. Tendi called herself an Orion but I've got severe gaps in my knowledge here. Klingons I can recognize, Vulcans might take me a minute due to some shit that is not their fault but that I've got in the ol' noggin, I'm drawing the biggest blank on you."

[treasonlikebeauty]

Ah, so the green woman is an Orion. Interesting.

"You know Vulcans and Klingons, but not the Cardassians?" His offense is more for show than genuine, a dramatic hand against his chest for the briefest of moments. "What a pleasure to be your first, then. And what of yourself? Were you more conventionally human to begin with, or something else?"

Fair's fair, she asked first.

[crushed_pearls]

"I was, but that was a long time ago. I got like this -" Erin gestures to the All of Her, "at like...thirteen, a good solid five years before I woulda been legally an adult and twelve before the common end of human puberty. Wasn't my choice. Rarely is." She heaves a heavy sigh. "...But I'm like, forty-three now give or take, I've been unconventionally human longer than I was ever conventional. This's who I am."

[businessorlibation]

"Clever and handsome, hm? Then Honoria Crabb is going to be on the list. That woman fits both criteria and is fierce and dogged besides. Important? Skulduggery and the Captain himself. Skullduggery's very easy to recognize, he's the one lacking skin. The Captain is the one who created this reality and is keeping all of us here. Ava is a friend to both Maximillian and Skulduggery. She's...shy. But one of the most observant people on the whole ship."

A pause and a wry smile. "And then, in the categories of clever, handsome and important, my husbands, John Watson and Cesar Salazar. It's for their sake that I will only ever flirt with you, nothing more."

[yourexoduslaughing]

Flan laughs. Oh he's being polite-cranky, she loves it! She knows exactly what he's asking, but since he's being passive-aggressive, she can pretend she doesn't know it until he says it.

"Aww I'm sure you would. But you're coming with meeeeeeeeee!" And without another word of warning, Flan drops him straight through the deck with her. It's sooooo tempting to take the long route, but she's only being a little bit of a bully, not a huge one. So she takes him straight to Calgona and stops him in the quiet, peaceful spa.

"Okay, so if you're still cold, go in that room." She points to the sauna. "I'm coming right back with sunglasses."

And with that, Flan takes her hand off of Garak and falls through the floor again, leaving him alone to gather himself.

[teethoftherisk]

"There are between sixty and seventy other passengers. There is no true crew. The ship used to be inhabited by ghosts of former passengers, and they served as crew and staff for the shops. But they are gone now, and so many places only work irregularly, serviced by invisible people." He pauses for a moment to scan the area, and then moves again, this time heading in a slightly right direction. "The Captain is the ruler of this domain, as he created it and draws people here. Friday is his servant, a faceless woman who can be found at the information desk, and she answers our questions if she can, or helps solve problems. They are the closest we come to crew."

[broshaw]

"Oh, there's way worse shit around here than crabs with knives taped to 'em. Trust me on that." He watches the crab run away like... well, like a crab, watching to make sure it doesn't wind up scuttling into the Tommy Bahama. That's where he wants to go, man!

Oh, right, introductions!! "You can call me Sharky, since, uhhh, that's my name!" He gives his best, toothiest smile for the weirdo in a black leather(???) get-up. "What about you, dude, you're new, right?"

[plangona]

Yeah, alright— lead the way then. [the more questions she asked and got answers to, the less it made sense but she figures she is about to see for herself soon enough]

[ooc; yes that sounds good to me!]

[blacksludgeaffair]

It has never been pet. It knows what petting is. It knows what one feels like when they pet something. It is good. Nice.

"Wanted her to... feel safe... Have... assurance..."

[millay]

"There are some that are worth the risk. In my experience." But she won't say that Demona has to. She doesn't know her or her experiences. "Sometimes even our kind can do wrong. The Hosts, I mean." She wants to be clear. "There were some that used mind control to treat the humans the way we were which I don't approve of."

There's a sigh and a nod. "I do not have magic back home. So this has been my first experience with it."

[treasonlikebeauty]

Garak considers this for a moment or two, based on time frames he's already been told about.

"Then either you've been here longer than I was under the impression anyone here had," he says, "or this was a process that began before you came here." Interesting. "Should I offer my condolences?"

[crushed_pearls]

"I wouldn't decline them, but it is what it is." Erin shrugs, a motion that involves Extensive Wings these days. "My home world is an Earth, and I got snatched from 2017 CE, no idea what that is in a Federation calendar, God forbid a Cardassian one, but if it helps you put things in time it was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay before humans had warp travel." Is assuming her Earth is in continuity with Star Trek optimism or being easy on Garak? Fuck you, it's both. "I've only been here a little less than a year, be a year in September or so. I've been what I am for the better part of three decades. It's been...bloody work. Here I've got something of a reprieve."

[treasonlikebeauty]

"An interesting list of names. I thank you. I suspect it will come in use."

Ah, tragedy.

"I would be surprised if so handsome a man did not find himself spoken for," Garak says, with a smile and a dramatic sigh. "I do hope they appreciate you, Mr. Summer. I certainly do, and I've only just met you."

[treasonlikebeauty]

Alone, sputtering, Garak puts a hand on the wall, trying to recover somewhat. Not his first transport, no, but generally not quite so... violent as all that.

A spa. She's brought him to a spa.

This seems almost insulting, but he does (cautiously) investigate the sauna, and... okay, he doesn't hate this. It's downright warm, even by his standards. It's a poor substitute for Cardassia's climate, or even proper environmental controls, but right now, he'll take the little luxury for what it is.

When Flan comes back, she will find him sitting on the bench, fully clothed, and not entirely at ease.

[treasonlikebeauty]

"I will have to keep on guard, then. Hm."

Garak smiles back, his usual bright and sunny expression. "I am new, in fact, and still working out the rules of this place I've found myself in. My name is Garak."

[sabigoe]

Thanks, Stell! I'll invite you to my next birthday party! [ She replies back with a giggle. Once they're both on the elevator, she hits the button for deck six. ]

We didn't even have elevators where I come from! [ Coming from around a medieval era. After spending more than a year on the Eterna though, she can sort of pass off as a modern day Earth child now. ] You had a boat? ...Were you the captain?

[blindwatchersees]

"Define 'just a crab.'"

He straightens his jacket, still looking at the crustacean rather than the human who has just engaged him in conversation.

"Is there a reason a crab can't be a passenger, just because it doesn't think in the same manner you do? I would say the crab is a passenger too, by the nature of being on this ship as we are."

There's some clear humor in his tone, but he also sounds serious.

[businessorlibation]

"Your appreciation is reciprocated. Don't worry, I'm still alright to flirt. I wouldn't be surprised if at least one of my husbands also flirted with you. Watson values intelligence and a man who's a little bit of a mystery, for one thing."

Yes, Jesse, please imagine Watson and Garak flirting with one another.

[yourexoduslaughing]

Flan comes back about fifteen minutes later in a one-piece swimsuit 'cause she's not about to embarrass herself hanging out (and passing out) in the sauna. She's also snatched a bag from Sundries and filled it with goodies for her poor lizard man.

"Here you aaaare! Multiple pairs of sunglasses, a big floppy hat to keep the sun out of your eyes, some gabapentin that should work on the headache since you're probably genetically closer to a lizard than a mammal and Tommy gives this stuff to his bearded lizard, some hand warmers, an electric blanket you can use but not in here aaaaaand a cuuuuuute scarf! It'll keep your neck warm!"

Flan sets the bag beside him and grabs a seat near Garak, crossing her legs underneath herself. "So welcome to the nightmare ship, it gets worse, but also maybe better depending on the kind of person you are."

[treadwater]

“You aren’t going to be able to make me feel safe. Nothing is. I don’t think I’ve ever felt safe, or that I ever will.” And yet. The petting doesn’t slow down or stop.

[angelofthenight]

"So... what?" Demona asks, still deeply considering giving this human some new facial scars. "I'm supposed to simply surrender and accept that I have been violated in this way?"