"It's not a Brita pitcher! You don't need to filter blood!" That, wait. That doesn't make it sound better at all, either.

"He's a vampire, he doesn't kill people. Obviously." He gestures down at himself, very much alive.

"You were in a cannibal cult?! You were his second?? Holy shit. How the fuck am I supposed to forget that part? Did you..." he's looking at the finger wound now. Remembering that disturbing little comment from before.

"Did you eat your own finger?" Vegetarian his ASS!