TEST DRIVE MEME #8

[sailmods]

1. but times have changed for sailors these days

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. tried to amend my carnivorous habit

[the space inside John's where the piano normally sits is mysteriously vacant today. as a matter of fact, the entire piano bar is silent, without so much as a muzak-inspired interpretation of Uptown Girl to hum along to.

the piano itself seems to have disappeared... for the most part. unlucky, unsuspecting passengers who enter the cabin hallway, step out onto the lower decks, or find themselves in one of the other narrow corridors of the ship, may find themselves suddenly facing down a silent, unmoving grand piano. it takes up too much space to squeeze by comfortably...

and then, the cover lifts, exposing what looks to be... teeth?

yeah. yeah, those are its teeth. and it's coming right for you.]

3. that American creation on which I feed

[it had been a difficult October for bahamanuel, the bahamanal. its territory had changed utterly, becoming alien and strange. new predators were encroaching on its hunting grounds. its position in the natural order is under threat. and so, nature finds a way.

the old timers know to be wary of large piles of clothes, but even they won’t think to look twice at the tiny lumps of garish kids’ swimsuits and sundresses - until they feel something latch onto their leg, and then several more things, and anywhere from ten to twenty balled up clothes piles try to take down their prey.

the young must learn how to hunt, after all.]

Comments

[not_the_last]

"Oh, so do I," she says fervently. "Percy, it's -- it's bad here."

For just a moment longer she looks terribly young, and then her face firms into her much more typical look of a woman about fifteen years her senior.

"Come with me. There's a library here, and people have been writing down everything they've learned about this place -- a lot of it's unverified, but you should know it regardless, and it's probably the quickest way to bring you up to date."

[sonofabinky]

[ Wow what a great and normal question that he was totally prepared to field. ]

What? No. Why? Do I look like I do? That's a weird question.

[ With the sort of suppressed anxiety you'd expect from a stoner asking if people can tell that they're high. ]

[sonofabinky]

[ Max kind of... turns in an arc with his hands on his head while Laura thinks, because he's under a physical and mental geas to be at least a little cartoonish at all times while under a state of observation. ]

Alright. Yeah. Good idea. [ As usual, Laura is basically the Brain to his Pinky. ] Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll stop and kick us off somewhere? I mean... we don't have tickets, right?

[ Yeah about that: ] ...Although I guess that... didn't stop us from getting on board. Which is still weird, by the way.

[ Beat. A thought is occurring to him. For some reason, though, he decides that the best way to phrase it is: ] If we dock at Kisaragi Station, though, I'm out.

Lev/Lyubov Morgenshtern | OC [fae-ish, passes for a human] | OTA

[graphomaniac]

(ooc: Lev/Lyubov is bigender/genderfluid, and alternates between the two names and switches up pronouns depending on context — use whichever one you think your character would go for, and it's acceptable to a) just straight-up ask about it IC if they're unsure. b) use whichever one i'm using in the narration/action for a specific post.)

3. got a sister that knows nothing but violence

Lev/Lyubov, far from an old-timer on the ship, is currently wedged into an awkward corner of the corridor, fending off not one, but three entire baby bahamals with his walking-stick. He does not, in fairness, seem particularly peturbed, more ... annoyed. The way you'd be annoyed with a small enthusiatic puppy or a particularly bold seagull.

He's even talking to the things.

"Look, I wish not to hurt ye ... no, in truth! Please let me pass by—"

He certainly sounds odd to anyone who knows what English is supposed to sound like. It's English, and the pronunciation's right for someone speaking after the Great Vowel Shift, but the grammar is interesting. And he rolls his Rs farther than a New Yorker.

Upon glimpsing movement at the other end of the corridor, Lev lets up counter-hassling the bahamulets and waves his stick in the air like a semaphore flag.

"Oy! Over here! Help?"

[saltwaterlungs]

A teenager appears out of nowhere and punts two of them with a single kick, launching them both down the hallway. Literally out of nowhere. She isn't there one moment, and then she is.

"Jesus fucking Christ, when is he going to give this joke a rest?" she asks, making a 'fft' sound at the third one like trying to scare off a cat.

"You okay?"

[takethatnature]

"Just a second!" Wilson calls out, doing something complicated with his hands and a fistful of long grass. Shortly afterwards- like, a few minutes later at most, either he had it hidden on his person or he wove it remarkably quickly- he rushes over with a wicker trap and plonks it directly onto one of the bouncing bundles of clothing haranguing the redheaded stranger.

The trap shudders and wiggles, but holds, as the bahamulet attempts to struggle free. Wilson slides a hand underneath and picks it up, then slams the now-empty trap down on the second bahamulet; he doesn't get a chance to pull another disappearing act on the third, which launches itself at his head with the sharp teeth of an opened zipper. "Hey!"

[thebadnews]

[ He hears the young man trying to get his attention the first time, but doesn't dare look for the source of the noise. He just knows the moment he takes his eyes off the things approaching him, he's going to end up getting swarmed.

But, as said young man so graciously points out, that doesn't even matter because, sure enough, there are piles of smaller clothing inching closer, getting ready to pounce. What he wouldn't give to have the rest of his party here right. ]

For the love of Pelor why me?! [ He quickly scans the area and decides that his best bet is to make a dive for just beyond the attacking clothes and following suit of this stranger, climbing to a higher ground.

Which is exactly what he does, letting out a sharp yelp when he feels one latch onto him. He grabs for his longsword and starts slashing at it to get it off. It would be awfully rude for him to die again so shortly after arriving here. ]

Goldenglow | Arknights

[glittering_gleam]

1. She whispers when the sails ascend

Goldenglow stuck around Friday for a while, peppering her with questions. Just basic things, like "won't we get devoured by sea monsters on a ship this defenceless?" and "why do so many people here not have tails or scales or anything? With her immediate concerns assuaged, she sets off a smiling face and unsteady legs, curious about the new, safer world she's found herself in. The cruise ship does remind her of a miniaturized mobile city from back home, although the sway of the tides is new to her.

2. Tried to amend my carnivorous habit

Goldenglow dives into the corridors of the ship to see what's what and get a sense of where everything is. And if the sight of the sea makes her nervous, what of it? Plenty of people didn't choose to be here, she imagines.

When she stumbles onto the piano in a corridor tucked away somewhere, she nearly trips over it, and swears softly to herself. As she leans on her staff to regain her balance, the lid opens to reveal a toothy grin that she's fairly confident shouldn't appear on Earth pianos, and her swearing gets louder.

"Could someone help me with this thing?" she shouts. With an effort of will, she calls upon the Arts that are always with her, and two drones pop out from the tip of the staff to harry the creature with electrical blasts. She tries her best to back away from it while still attacking; she's really not made to fight up close and personal.

just a drill (this is NOT a drill)

[skaikru]

She's admittedly been slacking in the past few months, but when she notices a swarm of newcomers and can follow them on their short, begrudging walk to the main deck, Clarke likes to be there for the muster drill. She's not compelled, and freely able to walk away at any time; she doesn't stand with them in front of Friday during the spiel and doesn't have a life vest in hand. It just feels pertinent, to be around and catch first sight of the people that will be living among them. A good way to sus out immediate threats based on disposition, or weed through the marshes a little more and hopefully find allies.

...She's nosy, is what this boils down to. And usually comes with notebook and pen in hand to jot down first impressions, but today forgot them both and is reduced just to staring. Occasionally being drawn into conversation is just part of this routine, which she doesn't mind at all. But the ship as a whole had undergone a rough few weeks and she can't even dredge up the ghost of a warm and welcoming demeanor when caught on the tailend of Yue's question.

"Net zero, I'm afraid." This is brusque and perfunctory, an easy answer spoken with the air of a weathered battle veteran telling a new recruit the fight's hopeless. Because it is, and gods how they've tried. A belated afterthought comes through in the form of a simple — "Sorry."

Welcome to hell on water. The amenities are decent, though.

[graphomaniac]

"'M fine, thank'ee," Lev mumbles. He slumps to the floor, and hugs his knees. "There's a lacuna near here, nu? It happens. Not so like, violently, usually, but it happens—"

He stops, sighs heavily, shudders all over.

"This place, nu," he says, thickly. "This place like, sucks."

[graphomaniac]

Lev squeals in surprise, and bats at the third bahamulet with his stick, trying to get it away from Wilson's head without redirecting it towards himself or towards, say, any other part of Wilson. The bahamulet seizes upon the walking-stick; plastic grinds on wood and Lev winces at the sound.

Lev freezes, the stick held out at an awkward angle, the rubber tip periliously close to Wilson's temple. The bahamulet is hanging on for grim life, making little growing noises and wiggling. It looks nothing quite as much as a terrier what found something it thinks is a large, strangely-shaped rat.

"I beg thy pardon," Lev says, in a small voice. "I'm like, no good with dogs. I'm a cat person, nu?"

1. She whispers when the sails ascend

[graphomaniac]

Lev/Lyubov is leaning on a railing, smoking and staring into the distance; the day is overcast, gloomy. Behind the thick glasses frames, her eyes glow faintly in the low light.

On hearing Goldenglow's footsteps, she turns and smiles, sizing up the girl — she looks like she might be a very odd nefil; or perhaps she's to cats what gamayun are to birds. Either way, in a sea of people disoncertingly free of eyespots, feathers, extra limbs or indeed any common visible starborn traits, someone what looks a little less off-the-rack is a welcome sight.

"A good morning to thee," she chirps. "New here too, nu?"

[thebadnews]

[ That doesn't exactly bode well, and makes Percy wonder if perhaps it's a good thing he's the only one from Vox Machina that made it here. Especially if this is at all tied to his death. ]

Great. What a warm welcome.

[ His voice has a sarcastic lilt to it as he fires once, and is pleasantly surprised that the gun did not jam or misfire. ]

Linnet | OC

[fakefeathers]

1.

What's going on? Where is she? The card that's been left for her in the cabin means nothing because she can't read it. She did try but... without Damien's help, forget trying to puzzle it out.

The door of this strange room isn't locked, but she's frightened to discover that she can only walk in one direction. Is this some new kind of technology? Is Damien using her as a tester again? Sighing and crossing her arms, she reluctantly follows the path that unseen force is taking her on, until she reaches the muster.

A tiny, "Eep," escapes her mouth when she sees that woman with no face. She's quick to put a hand over her lips to keep any other sound from coming out but she's forced to put them down again so she can accept that horrifying lei going over her head.

She picks up a piece of that white disk gingerly between her fingers and scrunches her nose up. What is that? Naturally, the best way to check is by putting it between her teeth, right? She makes an explosively disgusted face seconds after that regrettable choice when she realizes it tastes like bone. Her already ruffled wings puff out as a full body shudder runs down her spine. Ew. Ew. Ew!! Why would anyone make a necklace like this??

2. [cw: blood]

She hates it here! Nothing makes sense! Worse than that, even everyday objects are apparently dangerous. Such at pianos!

Her bare feet smack against the deck as she runs, a full sized piano clanging after her, charging with it's lid open and teeth out like it's planning to eat her alive. Can a piano do that? She's not sticking around to find out!

She vaults over the rail and spreads her wings, soaring out over the unnaturally calm water. But, to her shock, not too far out she hits an invisible barrier. Crunch goes her nose, and she can both taste and smell the new trickle of blood. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. Did she break it? Damien is going to kill her if it ends up leaving a scar.

She has no choice but to swing around in the air and come back to the deck. The piano is still there, pacing at the rail like a attack dog guarding the perimeter. Oh no! Someone else is walking this way. Don't they see it? It's going to get them. She can't shout, but she flies as close as she can and starts frantically waving her arms and pointing. Look out! Mad piano on the loose!

3. [More Blood/Violence]

This clothing store is weird. She wanted to just take a quick look around to see if she could find a replacement dress, since she got blood all over this one from a nosebleed. That was... she doesn't really know how long ago. A while. And she feels like she's been walking for miles. She's lost. Not even flying up and trying to get a better vantage point is helping. It just goes on and on.

Distraught, she perches on the top of a circular clothing rack to rest, her still bare feet are getting sore. She hasn't covered this kind of distance on foot in years. Just then, something below her rustles. What? Is there someone else in here? She squints down between the hangers of tacky swimsuits. No. No one there....

Suddenly, the fabric itself rises up and latches onto her. She shrieks, loud and wordless, and pumps her wings hard to lift away from the rack. A lump of clothes is still attached to her leg and it's chewing on her. She can feel something like little needle teeth. She desperately shakes her leg trying to fling the thing off but it won't let go. Help!!

[interlunium]

I'm kind of getting the impression nobody has tickets. I mean, look at them... [ She glances around Test Drive Meme #8. ] Is it just me or does everyone else seem just as freaked out as we are?

[ Her eyes linger on the faceless woman for a second before she looks back at Max, hands on her hips (because apparently my new type is people who stand like this). Her frustration has dropped several degrees from boil to simmer for now but she's still on high alert, ready to fight-or-flight at a moment's notice. ] I was going to say it'd be a little hard for a ship to dock at a train station but honestly, I'm not so sure. I'd believe anything at this point.

[sonofabinky]

[ Max, too, stares openly around the crowd. Vogue model guy, steampunk guy, really dedicated webcomic cosplayers... But yeah, looking past the general vibe of being thrown into sea-bourne Comicon, there aren't a lot of people who look like they just strolled voluntarily on deck. ]

Yeah, and it's... not helping the whole 'public transport to hell' vibe.

[ 'Max a cruise ship isn't public transport' he knows he knows he knows he's trying to make it easier for them not to freak out okay ]

[interlunium]

We'll be fine, [ Laura says in the sort of tone one might use when trying to reassure themselves more than the person they're with. It's totally not what she's doing, though. She's 100% confident they're going to be okay and figure out what to do here. ]

How often do cruise ships dock? Like every two days or something? We can handle that.

[takethatnature]

Wilson grabs for the bahamulet with both hands and pulls it free of the stick. Now that he has it he's not sure what to do with it, finding it a lot more difficult to slip a struggling ball of tiny clothes into his inventory while it nips at his hands with pinching zippers and attempts to slip out of his arms than when it's pinned down by, say, the trap currently imprisoning its sibling.

"Me neither, I've had enough of dogs for a lifetime-" He settles for throwing it full-force down the hallway, down the opposite leg of the corner junction. "I've never had a real cat, but I like them better."

[sonofabinky]

What if it doesn't dock?

[ ...good one Max, so much for trying to lighten the mood.

He suddenly very much feels the need to justify that weird downer, so: ]

I mean, it's already broken, like, a bunch of cruise ship rules. I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to take control of people's legs even in international waters.

[interlunium]

Then... we... steal a lifeboat?

[ Actually yes. She likes this idea a lot more than she thought she would. ]

I mean how hard can it be, right? We've already assaulted a police officer and broke out of jail. [ nevermind that said officer was completely the one in the wrong there. ] What's a little grand theft... nauto?

[ You know, grand theft auto, grand theft nauto. Nautical. Boats.. No? Maybe not. ]

[sonofabinky]

[ Blink. Stare. Hah! ]

Oh, shit, that's actually a great idea.

[ The joke could use some workshopping, but the idea is great! ]

You charm a guard to distract them. I sneak in and hotwire the boat. And we're away before you can say 'who let the dogs out'.

[interlunium]

[ This feels... ok, not so much like a solid plan as it is just, like, a bunch of words they've strung together in a particular order to sounds vaguely plan-like, but it's enough that Laura's feeling pretty good about the odds. If they can do this, she'll be back to trying to murder summer camp owners in no time.

It's enough that she's smiling again, at least. ]

Whoa, don't get ahead of yourself, babe. I was thinking I would do the hotwiring while you charm the guard.

[glittering_gleam]

The first thing Goldenglow notices is Lyubov's immense height advantage over her: she herself isn't exactly tall, but someone in heels a foot and a half taller than her is still something you don't see every day.

She smiles way, way up at the friendly face. "New as new can be," she replies. "Just got the welcome talk fifteen minutes ago. I've never been anywhere like this, have you?"

[sonofabinky]

[ Smiling is good! They just escaped from a two-month stint being kidnapped in a shitty one-star jail, and who knows what Laura went through while Max was scratching his fleas on the island. (Apart from-- well, he knows one thing she went through, but they're very much not talking about that.) Anyway, what he's trying to say is, it's good to see her looking a bit less like the weight of the world is on her shoulders. It sure makes Max feel a bit better about their chances.

He grins and puts one hand on his hip, the other on his cheek, and vogues. ]

Yeah? You think they'll go for the 'my dad's beachwear shrank in the wash' look?

[thebadnews]

Percy doesn't need to be told twice. He can see this is not a situation where any amount of fighting will result in a win. He's had enough close calls in his days with Vox Machina to know when the appropriate times to flee and regroup are.

"A very wise idea," he agrees, keeping his longsword out, just in case, but takes very slow steps towards their escape. Surely they can reach the boundaries without being overwhelmed by Bahamanuel and its young.