TEST DRIVE MEME #8

[sailmods]

1. but times have changed for sailors these days

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. tried to amend my carnivorous habit

[the space inside John's where the piano normally sits is mysteriously vacant today. as a matter of fact, the entire piano bar is silent, without so much as a muzak-inspired interpretation of Uptown Girl to hum along to.

the piano itself seems to have disappeared... for the most part. unlucky, unsuspecting passengers who enter the cabin hallway, step out onto the lower decks, or find themselves in one of the other narrow corridors of the ship, may find themselves suddenly facing down a silent, unmoving grand piano. it takes up too much space to squeeze by comfortably...

and then, the cover lifts, exposing what looks to be... teeth?

yeah. yeah, those are its teeth. and it's coming right for you.]

3. that American creation on which I feed

[it had been a difficult October for bahamanuel, the bahamanal. its territory had changed utterly, becoming alien and strange. new predators were encroaching on its hunting grounds. its position in the natural order is under threat. and so, nature finds a way.

the old timers know to be wary of large piles of clothes, but even they won’t think to look twice at the tiny lumps of garish kids’ swimsuits and sundresses - until they feel something latch onto their leg, and then several more things, and anywhere from ten to twenty balled up clothes piles try to take down their prey.

the young must learn how to hunt, after all.]

Comments

[crushed_pearls]

"Well don't fall in love either, she's strictly a lass's lass." It's a light tease, and quite fond. "As far as safety your cabin is best, talk to Palamedes Sextus about ghost wards. Bookish fellow, surprisingly funny, necromancer but not like Earth wizards. If you can't get to your cabin, try to find me, Ruby Rose, Darcy, or Peter Smith." Descriptions of them follow. "None will leave you in the lurch."

[teethoftherisk]

"Life is worth little here. A prize equal to the fear, or inconvenience." Siffleur shrugs. "Prizes vary. I offer the ability to pet me in cougar form. A few others I've offered to leave a friend unbothered. To another, I purchase him drinks and smokes. I'm thinking of other prizes to offer - high scores maybe. You can think of it. Perhaps there's no prize worth it to you."

[theweakhavepurpose]

That gets a moan because they're apparently both people that want someone telling them what to do. Future Pratt might realize that they're probably bad for each other, but current Pratt doesn't give a shit because this is one hell of dick and he's gonna enjoy himself.

He's real good at taking direction, so if that's what Max likes, that's what he gets. Pratt's eyes glance up at him as he drags his lower teeth along the bottom of his head. After all he said he wouldn't bite his dick off, he never said he wouldn't use his teeth.

[barrelup]

[the hand that shakes hers in return has a strong grip, clad in a well worn batting glow.]

Nope. Showed up about what, eight hours ago? I'm still getting a feel for what the catch is apart from mystery free cruise. I didn't sign up for this.

[hadnoright]

Good instincts. Thank god he has good fucking instincts because if he'd started to run she's really not sure if she could've resisted the urge to chase, and honestly this would be a pathetic moment to relapse.

Don't listen to the blood. Listen to the quiet.

"No, it's. You're— ugh." She drops her head, leaning against the buffet counter. "You're. Fine. I'm not— I'm not going to bite your head off. Just. You caught me off guard. But you make for the exit? Then I can't make any promises."

No point pussyfooting around it, he obviously recognises the predator in her too clearly for her to bother even if she cared to.

[cacophonish]

The opossum claps his little paws excitedly. He recognizes that reference! Those were some of the few books he ever really liked reading (his writer decided, just now).

"Oh, dude! I fucking loved Bunnicula when I was a kid!" A beat, as the opossum stares at Bunny with his beady black eyes. "...are you Bunnicula?"

[makesomedeals]

Max is fairly certain he's not encountered many people over two meters tall, so that's right out.

The diodes of his eyes flick over the man in front of him, less looking at his face and more at his hands. The way he gestures as he talks, his posture, coupled with that speech pattern and....Oh no.

"Was this in October?" He has a very sinking feeling that the answer will be an affirmative.

[eyimdrivinere]

Neither did I. But if past experience has taught me anything, going home is going to be... very hard. We have a captor here, and we're its playthings, or its tools.

[ God, it's only a matter of time until she becomes a set of elevators, isn't it. ]

If you can fight, that's good. We're going to need that.

[eyimdrivinere]

... Yes, and what else?

[ Like, that's still really bad, but it's not very novel. It's not... matching the story. There's supposed to be one, right? Murder and torture doesn't just happen on a cruise ship that, for all appearances, just seems to be... a cruise ship. Not a ghost cruise ship, not a hell cruise ship. She has to be missing something. ]

[maximumcake]

(Insert "They were both bottoms" meme here)

Oh, teeth! Max's favorite! He hadn't even said it yet, but it's going to be pretty obvious how much of a winning move this is now. "A-ah, fuck yes! Yesssss." His hands flex on Pratt's head, gripping hard and thrusting forward involuntarily.

"Fuck. Keep that up and I'm not going to last long."

[gnighteverybody]

... whaddya mean what else?

[ Yeesh, tough crowd. ]

This is just it, all there is. Pointless meaningless suffering, forever, until you get sucked into the nothing, with a couple of stations in between there and here for flavour and entertainment. What else should there be?

[gnighteverybody]

"aHAH!" Yakko cackles, "I know when I'm licked, I'm clearly dealing with a purr-fessional."

Is that a large mound of clothing menacingly shuffling towards him from behind?

[nepetaleijon]

She laughs.

And then freezes and slowly starts to sink into a crouch. "Hey," she hisses under her breath, "you know how I was going to tell you about the meownster?"

[theweakhavepurpose]

He garbles a be careful with that, man because that's his throat and its already pretty damaged thank you. But he doesn't pull away, or off, or stop. He may have lost a bet here, but he's still in it to win it.

Winning it in this scenario being: getting Max to cum.

After the whole conversation about biting and vampires Pratt probably should have figured out that teeth were a good thing way earlier than this, but his brain is peach tapioca, and it functions even worse when he's horny and all his meager intelligence is in his dick.

Max will get some more lip and tongue action before another, slightly rougher grating of Pratt's lower teeth.

[eyimdrivinere]

You know. Something. Some line. A, a, a story. It's the whole damn reason They steal us for, right? If it's pointless meaning and suffering forever until we all die and disappear or some shit-- [ wow she sounds weirdly cavalier about this part ] --then why are we on a fucking cruise ship? What's the point in that? Cruise ships aren't places of pointless murder and suffering. They're pointless living and suffering. Why aren't we in... I don't know, a god damn Colosseum? Did I miss some kind of new blockbuster about murder on cruise ships while I was out?

[gnighteverybody]

Ehhh... I think it's meant to be ironic. You know, like a beloved children's TV character murdering people? It's funny because it's unexpected. The excursions have pretty clear stories- mostly revolving around the previously mentioned pointless murder and suffering, [ He twirls his finger to gesture at 'revolving', ] think of it less like one big ball of suffering and more like a smorgasboard of suffering. Or like one of those fancy restaurants with a tasting menu where you have to lick foam out of a cast of the chef's mouth. Yeuck. Does that make sense?

[gnighteverybody]

"He's standing right behind me, isn't he?"

Yakko is not immune to The Demands of The Bit.

[nepetaleijon]

"I'm afuraid so."

Beat.

"Okay can you hold very very still and not mewve at all, cause I have an idea --"

[gnighteverybody]

Yakko audibly gulps and covers both his eyes, the outline of his form trembling in place.

"Got it, holding still, I'm not meowving a muscle."

[nepetaleijon]

"And one, two, thr33 --"

There's a comical fwip-sproioioing sound as Nepeta leaps, using Yakko's head and shoulders as a springboard to launch herself directly at the Bahamanal, barbed claws extended like seam-rippers.

"You can move now!" her voice emerges from the ensuing whirl of fabric and dust, amidst shredding and ripping noises.

[maximumcake]

"Sorry, sorry," Max hisses "I really like teeth." As if that wasn't incredibly obvious already.

All of it's good, and Pratt is well on his way to winning a big prize, but at least this time when Max feels the scrape of teeth he has enough restraint not to buck forward again. He does throb dangerously on the edge of release, hard enough Pratt can probably feel him convulsing.

"Gonna... want to back off if you don't... want a mouth full," Max warns.

[theweakhavepurpose]

He has, in fact, noticed and is using his teeth to his advantage. Oh Pratt felt that, he'd be grinning if his mouth wasn't currently occupied.

Decision time though, does he actually want a mouth full? He definitely doesn't want it on his face, or worse his hair, and he's still wearing all his clothes so getting it on his uniform also isn't ideal. But they are in his room so he can change if he wants to... Yeah, he pulls back and sits up more, stroking him with his hands now that he's all nice and wet.

"That gonna be Maximum too?" His voice is even more raspier than normal, can't imagine what he was doing with his throat to get like that.

Albert Stroller | Hustle

[albertstroller]

1. I'm gonna keep on the run

There's an old man wandering the hallway outside the cabins in a bit of a daze. He's got to be well into his 80s surely, maybe even older. Hunched over, eyes squinting but very vague, taking small doddering steps in the direction of the lift. Every so often he tries to step somewhere else, a tentative push to the left or the right, but of course it doesn't work, he's bound for the muster drill whether he knows what's going on or not.

He reaches out a shaking hand to stop the first person he sees

"Oh- oh pardon me, I'm very sorry, I don't suppose you could help me, could you?" He says in a wavering voice "I seem to have gotten a bit turned around"


2. I'm gonna have me some fun

It was only a matter of time — once he got his legs back to himself, that is — before Albert found his way to the casino. Put a pack of cards and a few easy marks friends in front of him, and he'll be happy just about anywhere.

He paints a very different picture now, it's amazing the anti-aging properties of good posture, it's taken at least a decade off him. Now he's reclining at one of the poker tables, enjoying an old fashioned and idly shuffling a deck while he observes the room with a keen eye. Anyone coming in is greeted with a wink and a warm smile

"Fancy a game of cards?"


3. If it costs me my very last dime

Wildcard!

Anri of Astora | Dark Souls 3

[child_of_astora]

1. The Age of the Deep Sea

A sense of dread fills Anri as they are compelled to the dock. As soon as their faculties return to them, they pull the shield off their back and begin looking around them. If Anri was pulled here, wherever here is, perhaps Horace was as well. "Horace? Has anyone seen Horace?"

2. Ah, mimics

Anri had taken to wandering this new space when they were faced with a piano attack in one of the hallways. There had been mimics where they had come from, and the piano reminded them enough of a cathedral organ that it was easy to muster up the frustration necessary to defend themself with force. They pull their shield off their back to place in front of them, and draw their sword to try and drive it into the thing's mouth. "Have at you!"

3. Really? More mimics?

Anri simply stood there in the Tommy Bahama, watching as several tiny clothes piles gnaw at their greaves. They kicked lightly, shaking the things off as best they could. They were too tiny to kill, they weren't that ruthless a knight.

"Excuse me, does anyone know how to make them run off? I do not wish to hurt them."

[maximumcake]

"Usually is," Max groans.

He releases a hand out of Pratt's hair so he can brace himself against the wall. That moment is coming for him, delayed only slightly by the absence of the wet heat of Pratt's mouth. The stroking is still going to get him there really damn soon.

"Oh fuuuck. Fu--!" At the last second, he slaps a hand over his mouth to muffle the wanton cries of pleasure that bellow out of him, in time with the powerful throbs of his cock as orgasm finally overtakes him. It's up to Pratt to control where those hot white ropes end up splattering, Max is too busy trying to keep his knees from giving out.