TEST DRIVE MEME #7

[sailmods]

1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton

[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.

perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]

Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!

[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]

… I’ll get right on that!

[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]

2. grandma went and can't stop screaming

[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.

it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.

so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.

until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]

Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…

3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama

[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.

barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.



physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!

note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]

Comments

[busball]

Klaus' self preservation skills are perhaps a lot lower than most and also the fact that he knew Stede before sort of makes him like...whatever. It's fine.

"Cool." Well, he's just gonna go ahead and put his order in, getting two beers because what's the point in being reasonable from the start. And since apparently getting fucking pissed is on the agenda, Klaus figures he's gonna need to start off strong.

"You're speaking my language, buddy. Order as much as you want. It doesn't cost shit."

[originalshen]

[Shen Qingqiu nods at the confirmation, folding his arms as his gaze inadvertently begins to follow the swish of the stranger's tail.]

Thank you for the offer, but I'm not quite so weak yet that I cannot walk on my own. [He may be weak! And a little bit off-balance! But he can still theoretically make it to wherever this infirmary is without falling over!!

And as for that question—] ...If it's alright with you, I'd rather not speak of the hows and whys of my condition at present.

[originalshen]

If this is really a dream, then you would indeed be able to shock yourself awake. If it isn't...you're certainly allowed to try regardless, if you're willing to take that risk.

[He's always been a rude guy, okay? You give him fodder, he's gonna call you out!]

It's better to treat our situation as reality for now, and explore the area for some clues as to how we got here. [Not that he's particularly eager to get back to where he was before, but hey, having a goal is a little better than wandering around aimlessly.]

[naivecyan]

( If!? It has to be considering she's not supposed to be here! She's supposed to be at school with her friends, she never finished filling out the list of things she wants to do! Especially when she got the chance to cross off exchanging numbers with someone...

She doesn't want to make an entirely new list here! Even though that sounds fun. )

O-Okay!

( Yeah, he makes her kind of nervous. She doesn't mind jumping from a high height to see what comes from it, but logical and rational is best for situations like this. Miorine would say the same while calling Suletta an idiot in the same breath.

Wait, moving too fast. Extending her hand out to the other, she stands at attention while trying to meet him eye to eye. She's like 5'7" so cut her some slack. )

I'm Suletta Mercury, I hope we can get along.

[originalshen]

[Honestly, it being a dream is the most likely answer for him too, considering he was being held captive by a man with a mastery of dream manipulation, but like...this place is too weird even for a dream, okay? He's never seen the ocean before, but even if he had he's pretty sure ships don't look like this? The people are strange! The clothes are stranger! The structures are strangest of all!

Well no okay the clothes are weirder than the ship, probably. This is a split-second opinion, he's not gonna bother thinking harder than that. Also he's like 6' even so excuse the inadvertent one-eyed looming he's got going on as he...nods, staring at her extended hand with a questioning sort of look.]

My name is Shen Qingqiu. I hope we get along as well, Miss Mercury.

[They don't do handshakes in ancient China, okay?]

[agronomy]

( Tighnari seems to consider the answer for a moment, tilting his head back and forth as he weighs it in his mind. Sure enough though, he'll meet the other's eyes with his own being rather expectant, as there's at least one thing he does want to clarify regardless of the man's private affairs. )

I'll be direct then: is there anything I should know about what injured you? I can accompany you back, but if there's a risk involved then I want to be aware ahead of time.

( To be frank, he doesn't care if it was a lover's spat, a deal gone wrong, or a rishboland tiger—but he can't do a very good job as an escort if he doesn't know the level of risk associated with the walk there. )

[originalshen]

[A smart one, this. Shen Qingqiu makes no notable response at first, staring back with a neutral look on his face. After a moment of silence, however, he does give a reply.]

...It was a beast, nothing more. If you are worried about safety, I can assure you that all injuries were sustained before I arrived in this...place. [And if this place is actually under the beast's control, that would make this stranger a part of it and therefore safe regardless.]

go straight to hell boys

[thefreak]

The one thing that no one tells you about scars is how shitty the whole healing process is. Sure, chicks may dig them, but having to return to the infirmary to get them looked at to make sure they aren't getting infected or are healing properly is a nuisance Eddie didn't really need right now.

But, he's a good little patient and Clarke put so much work into patching him up for him to let it go south now, so he swings back down to the infirmary, expecting nobody to be there. He's been through this rodeo enough that he can mostly do it himself. Remove bandages, check for infection, put on ointment, reapply bandage.

But the infirmary is not empty and Hawkeye doesn't even so much as seem to look up when Eddie enters.

"Didn't know we needed a reservation," Eddie murmurs, suddenly feeling self conscious despite the fact that at least a few people have now seen the current state of his still-healing skin.

fin?

[thefreak]

At least Chrissy isn't alone in that confusion. Even though Eddie had known about his own death (how could he not, when he remembers Henderson clutching him tightly as he let go?) it doesn't make it any easier to swallow.

On the one hand, he's grateful that he's not just gone gone. If Chrissy is here, then maybe other people he knows will be here? Which isn't as much of a comfort as he wants to believe, because this place doesn't feel like a heaven or an afterlife. There's a sinister aura, but maybe their being here, able to face this place together, will make them stronger in a way.

"Kind of. I'm sure I've still got more in me, but." He shrugs, wiping away the last remnants of his breakdown. He glances around the place, and points in the direction of what looks like some costume pieces more Eddie's style. "Guess I'll see you around, Cunningham." And with one last wink he lets his face and posture go neutral when he turns around and starts poking around for potential costume ideas.

[decohere]

He's not wrong, but with all respect Ed, you're also unhinged. So welcome to the ship of parties and death.

"Nice to meet you, Ava," she does a very poor imitation of his voice. "You too, Blackbeard... nobeard?" She wonders if this is just the trend now, stroking her own chin curiously.

"Ah, no idea. Probably harassing cats again. I could send him a message, if you need."

[notinflictthem]

"You kidding? Classy joint like this, you're lucky I don't enforce our white tie dress code too."

Hawkeye actually looks up from what he's doing and pats the examination bench.

"Lucky for you a table just opened up. Hawkeye Pierce, I'm a doctor- you'll forgive me, it's been a minute since I've had a patient who could tell me what's wrong himself. What seems to be the problem? I'm guessing you're not here to avail yourself of the delicious vitamin gummies."

Hawk's already had five himself.

[notinflictthem]

"Seemed nice enough. I always thought that barkeeps were meant to make you feel better about your situation, you know- it- it can't all be bad news, right?"

Hawkeye takes a long slug from his martini and- maybe good drinks is the good news, and with any luck he'll die of alcohol poisoning and just not have to deal with any of this.

[notinflictthem]

"Oh trust me, I'm used to having to do that for myself. Sometimes it's even because the woman was beautiful, and not just because she used me for target practice."

Another glance over Phil, and just because his nerves are still going-

"Y'know I have to ask- when you get sick, do you see a doctor or a vet?"

[notinflictthem]

"Oh now that's rich. I took a wrong left at Korea and ended up in Metropolis."

A gesture towards its face, "don't lie to my face, buddy, I know flesh when I see it."

[notinflictthem]

"...You don't say."

Where Watson had despaired moments ago, a look of awe crosses Hawkeye's face.

"The eighteen- that's incredible, honestly incredible- what was it like? I mean, hellish, of course, but- there's so many questions I want to ask. It's like you're a history museum come to life- presuming you're not lying of course. Wow- it must be amazing seeing all the medical advancements that've happened since your time."

[lightconductor]

"I'm still rather excited about antibiotics," he admits, because he is. "If we'd had something like that -- well, in all honesty, as many men died to infection or disease as did bullets. At least as many. I was nearly one of them. Typhoid swept through the hospital at Peshawar while I was recovering from being shot."

It's not the sort of thing he often admits to a new acquaintance, but, well, one army surgeon to another. There's something of a shared horror there.

"I'd only just graduated from medical school when I signed up. Damn fool thing to do, looking back, but at the time I didn't seem to have much in the way of a choice." Money. It's always about money. "I suppose telling me what war you've managed to get yourself pulled into won't mean anything to me, but I'm curious to hear all the same."

[serialskiller]

"Yes, by definition, cyborgs have both organic and inorganic parts."

It rolls up a sleeve, shows him the plate along the forearm, the hinge-joint elbow.

[businessorlibation]

"It's not all bad news. You'll see wondrous things here, meet people from worlds you can hardly imagine. You'll make friends. You'll learn about magic, and technology, and stranger things yet. The bad news is, you haven't any choice in the matter."

And he means it, all of that.

[inhairently]

Yeah? [ Steve wiggles his fingers in Eddie's hand — just a silly, playful little gesture. ] Glad to hear I passed the test.

[ Joking about it still doesn't feel quite right, but it's preferable to spiraling into existential despair. At least for the time being.

It's strange, though, how quickly Steve can feel his motivations shifting. Initially his one, singular goal was to escape and get back to Hawkins. Now he's rethinking — he can't go back, Eddie can't go back. Escaping is still in the cards, but Hawkins? Not so much.

It's a lot to think about, and a lot to discuss, but that can wait until after Eddie's been taken care of here and settles in. ]

[inhairently]

"Sort of?" Steve says, thinking back to something Dustin had said. "Like I think the Upside Down's existed for a long time, maybe since the dinosaurs." Yeah, so he'd scoffed when Dustin said it. Whatever.

"But things didn't get really weird until the night Will Byers went missing," he goes on. "The girl with the superpowers opened the first gate and uh. Yeah. The gates are basically doorways between regular Hawkins and the Upside Down."

There's a brief pause, in which he reflects on that night he'd gone to apologize to Jonathan Byers and he'd seen his first demogorgon. "If this it too much I get it," he adds. "I thought I was losing my mind when I first found out about it."

[treading_water]

It's frankly too little, too late. Once Blackbeard decides you're more of a liability than of any decent use to him, it's over. But he's still going to force feed him his own digits because he's fucking pissed and he'll laugh about it for a while.

"Don't forget to chew." he grunts, making a mental note to refeed it to him every time he passes it as many times as he possibly can.

i don't know what i just wrote or why

[treading_water]

No cost for anything? Great. Perfect. Maybe this place isn't so terrible.

Edward orders two drinks for himself as well, whatever's strongest on tap, and then shoves himself into a seat and begins chugging. He finishes one of his two drinks in one go, just to get it out of the way. A round of applause for alcoholism.

"Not bad for ghost piss." is the only thing out of his mouth. You can't prove it's not ghost piss, right? Unless that'd be invisible, too.

fair. me too sometimes

[busball]

Klaus watches him chug the first drink with a hint of awe before drinking at least half of his drink. He's reaaaaally glad that he's not like...fucking in the middle of drinking when he calls it ghost piss, though, cause they've definitely started laughing at this point. The drink would have become a spittake. And he is not looking to be murdered.

"Sorry, man, but that was funny." They grin widely, taking another sip. "I really hope it's not ghost piss, though." He pauses. "I mean, sure I chewed on that bagel from a dumpster once, but like..." He pauses, considering the fact of how little Blackbeard probably knows about what that means. "A dumpster is like a big trash can. But you can stand inside of it. If you want to...Like if you want to find something you sort of accidentally threw away."

Yeeeeeep. Gonna drink some more beer.

im crying

[treading_water]

Ed shrugs, "I'm fucking hysterical." he replies like it's common knowledge, eyeing Klaus as they explain the whole... dumpster bagel thing. Okay then.

"You'll chew on a garbage bagel but you won't drink a ghost's piss?" he replies after a pause of his own. "Grow up, mate."

asjkfnasdf. i can't

[busball]

This time Klaus does choke on his drink, coughing as he tries to recover from it. "Oh my god." Okay, so he's still coughing, but he's also laughing. Why is this so hilarious to him?

"I think I love you. Like in a friendship way." Oh, he needs a minute to fully recover before he finishes the first drink and then raises his next glass. "To ghost piss."