"I have to care," Dimitri says quietly. "I don't think I'm capable of doing otherwise." When so many lives ride on his own, on his decisions and his judgment, he has to care about each and every one. But even otherwise ... Dimitri can't help but care. He has never been able to hold himself separate, cannot help but imagine behind every face the unseen web of blood, debt, circumstance, affection, lives touched and changed, that binds every person to countless others. He can't help but love, abstractly if not personally, the beauty in those webs; can't help but hate their destruction.
He's not pulling away either. He needs the anchor; needs to know that Darcy, and this conversation, is real, so the doubts and the guilt can't start prying into his head again. Each and every passenger has been plucked from their web like a spider by a bird, left to fall amidst torn and tattered strands ... but here they are, catching each other, forging webs anew through sheer will.
It's easier said than done, and Dimitri's hardly an exemplar, but he's saying it anyway. "We're not meant to be alone. We have to offer each other our hands. We can't survive without each other; certainly none of us could face the Captain alone. I care about you, and Rich, and everyone else on this ship, and everyone at home, and -- if that leaves me at the Captain's mercy, that's the price I'll pay."
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He's not pulling away either. He needs the anchor; needs to know that Darcy, and this conversation, is real, so the doubts and the guilt can't start prying into his head again. Each and every passenger has been plucked from their web like a spider by a bird, left to fall amidst torn and tattered strands ... but here they are, catching each other, forging webs anew through sheer will.
It's easier said than done, and Dimitri's hardly an exemplar, but he's saying it anyway. "We're not meant to be alone. We have to offer each other our hands. We can't survive without each other; certainly none of us could face the Captain alone. I care about you, and Rich, and everyone else on this ship, and everyone at home, and -- if that leaves me at the Captain's mercy, that's the price I'll pay."